Isabella, She-Wolf of France. Married the King of England at the age of 12, exiled to Denmark where she raised an army to invade the country she was queen of and overthrow her husband and father of her four children, King Edward the Second.
Here she is trying not to look pissed.
Wednesday, July 06, 2022
BAD ASS QUEEN OF THE DAY
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Friday, June 10, 2022
POP TARTS
I had a little vacation last week. Went to Galveston with my
son, an old friend and his son.
As it happens my old friend, Jeffers, he married my ex-wife.
That makes him my son’s step-dad. And his son, Dan-O, is half brother to my
son.
We are all friends and fathers and sons.
Anyway we have a B&B In Galveston for two nights, and did
a little fishing.
At the B&B the counter is cluttered with all sorts of
snacks; chips, jerky, trail mix, ect.
The last night there I woke up about 4 a.m. and went into
the kitchen looking for a little snack. Right next to the toaster was a single
foil pack of Pop Tarts. I looked around a little and decided on the Tarts, got
a bottle of water and went back to bed and snacked out.
The next morning I get up and I’m having a cup of coffee.
Dan-O comes in and starts rummaging through the snacks.
And he is rummaging through the snacks, and I sense an increase
in his desperation, and finally he says, to no one in particular “I thought I
had some Pop-Tarts here”.
Oh no!
I stayed quiet as a mouse. He continued rummaging a bit and
finally says “Has anyone seen my Pop Tarts?”
Its just he and I there so its hard not to address the question. And I can tell
by the wild look in his eye that those Pop Tarts mean a whole lot to him. I
know how he feels.
Obviously, I have reached a moral dilemma. I can do one of
two things:
- Tell
him the truth, that I ate his Pop Tarts
- Help
him LOOK for his Pop Tarts.
“Dan-O, I hate to
tell you this but I got up last night and ate your Pop Tart. I’m so sorry. I
really am”
He was crushed. It was like a dagger through his heart. His
knees buckled and he looked to the heavens and let out the most pitiful moan I
have ever heard. If I didn’t already feel badly enough now I felt even worse.
He went back to his room.
“Jeff, I’m afraid I ate Daniels Pop Tart last night. It was his only one”
Jeff looked up, alarmed.
“Oh no” he said.
I could tell it was pretty serious.
“How long has Dan-O been having a Pop Tart for breakfast
every morning?” I asked.
Jeff looked at me, dead serious.
“Ever since he had teeth”
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Wednesday, June 08, 2022
TOP GUN "MAVERICK"
No spoliers, exactly.
I went to see the new Top Gun this weekend. It was good and I cried all the way through it.
But I have to say it wasn’t near as much FUN as the original Top Gun.
In the original Top Gun, Maverick flies inverted over a Russian MIG, flips off the pilot while Goose takes a polaroid. He proceeds to buzz the tower, causing the Sky Chief to spill coffee all over himself, shouting “I want somebodies butt for this”. Maverick and Goose are called onto the carpet to some superior officers office where they are told “One more fuck up and you’ll be flying rubber dogshit out of Hong Kong ” and given their new assignment--Top Gun in Miramar-- every pilots wet dream. Exiting the office they crash into the Sky Chief again. More coffee is spilled “God Dammmit I want somebodies butt” and off to Miramar they go.
At the local bar they serenade a mysterious woman with a rousing rendition of “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’”, and Maverick follows her into the bathroom and suggests they make it right there on the vanity. He is turned down (“Long cruise, sailor?”), but on her way to her seat she tells Goose "You're friend was marvelous". The next day she shows up as the instructor at Top Gun wearing high heels and those stockings with the seam up the back that look so fine. Hilarity ensues.
All of this happens in the first 15 minutes of the 1986 Top Gun. Already, everyone watching the movie loves Goose because he is such a great character and Meg Ryan hasn’t even shown up yet to holler “Goose! You big stud…”
The entire 2022 sequel is dependent on Goose, which is as it should be, but don’t expect it to be as much fun to watch.
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Wednesday, April 27, 2022
THE THRILLING MOMENT
Sometimes the best part of a journey can be just getting there. The journey itself.
My son had rented a cabin for a night for our fishing trip. Sixty bucks a night they said. I drove, Lee was was the navigator. He navigated us up to the southern shores of lake Texoma. We veered off the main road to a twisty-turny side road that took us past mansions and horse stables, past lush green fields and lily-padded ponds. We passed the golf course, country club, day spa, tennis courts, and spilled out into the parking lot and entrance to Tanglewood Resort, pictured above.
I stopped the car a distance from the entrance so we could take it all in.
“How much did you say a night?”
“Sixty dollars”
“Somehow I don’t think this is us."
"I‘m not seeing any cabins here”
"Don't look like a cabin kind of place, do it?"
"It probably don't"
“We’ve got Cabin #7?”
"Supposed to be"
“You reckon that’s a restaurant at the top of that tower?”
“Probably might be, yes”
We both laughed.
We debated whether to go up to the valet parking and ask for directions to Cabin #7.
The navigator looked again at our map and we were on our way a few miles down the road, into the most jumbled maze of gravel side roads like you never been on, through the poison oak thicket in the dark past untold numbers of copperhead snakes, on the phone with a lady trying to guide us in, who just kept saying over and over in a wonderful Texoma drawl “Just keep coming to me”.
We had a great day of fishing and caught our limit, but that may have been the best part.
“Every moment of life, I
suppose, is more or less of a turning-point. Opportunities are swarming around
us all the time, thicker than gnats at sundown. We walk through a cloud of
chances, and if we were always conscious of them they would worry us almost to
death.
But happily our sense of uncertainty is soothed and cushioned by
habit, so that we can live comfortably with it. Only now and then, by way of
special excitement, it starts up wide awake. We perceive how delicately our
fortune is poised and balanced on the pivot of a single incident. We get a peep
at the oscillating needle, and, because we have happened to see it tremble, we
call our experience a crisis.
The meditative angler is not exempt from these sensational
periods. There are times when all the uncertainty of his chosen pursuit seems
to condense itself into one big chance, and stand out before him like a salmon
on the top wave of a rapid. He sees that his luck hangs by a single strand, and
he cannot tell whether it will hold or break. This is his thrilling moment, and
he never forgets it.”
From “Fishermans Luck” by Henry van Dyke, 1923
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Friday, April 22, 2022
CRITICAL RACE THEORY
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Monday, April 18, 2022
AN EASTER STORY
There is a robin in my yard that seems to be there year round. I think maybe he roosts permanent in my yard or somewhere very near. I first took note of him a year ago, but I think he has been there since I moved in two years ago. He has gotten very familiar, and seems to tolerate my presence quite well. Before the storm three days ago I stepped outside, and he and I watched the clouds roll in. We were only five feet apart. I spoke to him, wondered if birds have ears, and after a few minutes I got bored and went back inside.
I think maybe he is an old bird, like me, that doesn't travel well.
They say that it was a robin that flew to Jesus side to try to help as He was being crucified.
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Friday, April 15, 2022
EASTER IN DETROIT
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Friday, April 08, 2022
Fourth of July picnic...
...on the banks of the Trinity river just north of downtown, about 1986. My wife's family had set up camp early to get a good spot for the fireworks, and like an idiot I brought a fishing pole. I think I had shrimp as bait. Anyway we were there all day waiting for fireworks, the crowd filling up behind us, and I had my pole set up on the bank. All day people would come by and ask had I caught anything.
"Nope. Don't really expect to"
So just as the sun is going down there is a twitch on the pole. Another twitch, and another. I grab it and set the hook hollering "STRIKE!"
I play him for all he's worth and finally get him up to the bank. Its a 10 pound turtle.
I turned to look up the hill and there must have been ten thousand people watching me reel him in, so I Raised Him Up High, so everyone could see.
THE CROWD WENT WILD!
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Thursday, March 31, 2022
ITS JUST CAKE
My brother was best man at my wedding. He was a West Point
grad and retired a colonel.
The day of my wedding the pastry chef at the Hyatt where I
worked called me about an hour before the wedding, while I was getting dressed. She had made the cake.
“Steve, I’m lost, I can’t find the church”
“OK, tell me where you are and I’ll come get you and lead
you to the church”
My brother grabbed the phone.
‘The address of the church is %%%%%. You should be able to
find it. Steve is not going anywhere but straight to the church from here” and
he hung up.
“Don, I have to go get her”
“Steve, you are not going anywhere but straight to the
church.”
“But Don, she has the CAKE. The CAKE!”
I’ll never forget the look on his face. I really cant even describe it. Maybe its the look you give a guy when you order him to advance on a fortified position, or clean the latrines. I don't know. Maybe it was look you give someone who asks where they can get some Ivermectin, you know, the horse pill for COVID.
He said:
“Steve, we can have a wedding without a cake. Get your ass
dressed, We leave in 5 minutes”
I think about this one a lot when I encounter situations where I (or someone else) is placing too much importance on a detail.
You CAN have a wedding without a cake.
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Tuesday, March 22, 2022
Our Latest Crush
Here at Bulletholes we have a huge crush on Pati's Mexican Kitchen. She has wonderful recipes, and tells you all about the food that she is using. She also has a wonderful accent to go with them. As she tastes a dish she gets this look of ecstasy on her face. "Yummmm" she says and her eyes flutter a little before rolling up and closing and it's very hot.
She comes off all sweet and innocent but she knows what she's doing.
She knows exactly what she's doing.
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