Hippity-Hop

I was supposed to meet a couple friends at Starbucks this morning. I seldom go to Starbucks but my cousin gave me a $200 gift card so what the hell. My friends were unable to make it, which left me sitting out front by myself with an Americano grande, three pumps vanilla, one pump whipping cream, and a Splenda. It's really quite good.

As I sat there I noticed several single women as they went inside gave me sideways glances. They were the kind of glances a woman might make when she is making herself aware of her surroundings. One has to be vigilant. I have heard that Starbucks is famous for creepy over-caffeinated guys, hanging out looking to pick up women. And here I was wearing a lavender shirt and hiking boots lurking in front of a Starbucks. That's when I started to feel self-conscious and my mind began to drift.

I had a friend who used to pick up girls at Starbucks. In fact he brought a girl to the blues fest one year. She had double shot triple shot breasts, and her shirt was unbuttoned from both the top and the bottom so that there was really only one button holding her together. As we all danced together I whispered to him
"Where did you find HER?
"Starbucks" he said.

About this time another single woman passed by me, gave me the sideways glance and scurried inside. It was then my mind wandered further and I went into one of my daydreams.
In my vision a long-legged woman climbed out of her BMW. She was wearing a black leather mini skirt and a furry little pink sweater. Black silk stockings. Lots of jewelry. Auburn hair hung down over the sweater, her lipstick must have been named Passion Play, or maybe Flame of Desire, I don't know.
What really caught my eye were her 4 inch heels. They were little pink bunnies, and matched her sweater perfectly. As she wiggled by me she gave me a sideways glance, but it was different from the other women. It was more like one of those Christine Baranski looks, a "cat that ate the canary" look, and she smiled like a knife. If she had opened her mouth I would not be surprised to see a canary fly out.

Mind you, all this took place in my mind in about 1.5 seconds.
I started to laugh but it wasn't funny yet.

Now, here she comes out of the Starbucks and sits down right across from me. "Hello" she says in a dark and dusky voice. "Hello back" says I. She crosses her legs out to the side to further advertise the shapely leg and bunny heels.
"You have some whipped cream on your mustache" she says, and makes a wiping motion with her hand.
I reach up to my face but she stops me.
"No" she whispers "Let me get that for you" and leans across the table and plants a big fat kiss on me.
I shook my head and snapped back to reality. Time to go. Lesson learned. Never go to Starbucks by yourself.
Happy Easter everybody!

Pam Bondi

Surprised to find that we haven’t roasted Miss Bondi till now. She makes Karoline Leavitt look like a sweetheart.

“Whether you’re a former FBI director, whether you’re a former head of an intel community, whether you are a current state or local elected official, whether you’re a billionaire funding organizations to try to keep Donald Trump out of office — everything is on the table. We will investigate you, and we will end the weaponization.”
Pam Bondi

The up-is-down pretzel logic--‘It rained all night the day I left, the weather it was dry”-- was notable but not surprising coming from Bondi — an attorney general who has made very clear that her loyalties lie first and foremost with Trump and his Republican supporters. Not surprising also that so many of her high profile prosecutions never make it past the Grand Jury or were quickly dismissed by judges.

We won’t even get into the Epstein Files.
I’ve hear she used to be a really nice person, and loves dogs. Maybe Trump can find a new spot for her, ripping wings off butterflies or something.

It Wasn't Just Me

I’ve gone almost a year without saying anything about Karoline Leavitt’s mouth. Really, it rude to comment on the physical appearance of a nice soft woman, even if she does bark out some of the most annoying glorifications, confabulations, and falsifications from her spot as Press Secretary. I mean, that’s the job of any press secretary, is it not? Just repeat the same crap over and over, regardless of, and impervious to whatever the facts might be?
But sometimes when she’s doing it, that nasty little mouth just catches my eye; I think to myself “If I was a woman I might want to smack her one right in those pursed lips” but instead I try to feel some compassion and wonder “What the heck is going on with that mouth?”
Well I just finished reading some article from three pro make up artists detailing what is wrong with her nasty little mouth, and her make up in general.
I know its petty, and un-presidential, taking pot shots at someone's appearance and specifically talking about Karoline Leavitts mouth, but somehow I feel vindicated.
Don’t hold it against me ladies.
It wasn’t just me.


Now I hear they are coming out with a new Bratz doll, an homage to Karoline Leavitt.
Accessories to include Official Bratz podium, Pink Boxing gloves, Horned Viking Helmet ( with fur), adjustable basket muzzle, feathercuffs, and lip filler pack.
Voting to name the doll begins…NOW!
1) Miss Fussy Britches
2) Princess Umbrage
3) My Mommy Dearest
4) Other

Me? I think Princess Umbrage is perfect.

~Art Expert Squints at “Bulletholes in Main Frame Computer” ~

Artist ~ MHL

A Kodachrome moment in what could be Everymans living room at 3:03 a.m., between the Infomercial and Home Shopping Network, Facebook and The Real Donald Trump on Truth Social.

The promise of “But wait there’s more!” forever unfulfilled.

The sudden realization that there won’t be more.

This is all there is, this lonely little screen, this is all there ever will be, and between the “low low prices” and “everything gotta go” jingles you are simultaneously compelled and horrified that you might buy a combination battery charger, compressor and pedicure kit that slices and dices, and everything that is not a lie is a conspiracy.

But the time to act is now, the grey voice drones on...

A ungodly hour, certainly,

Another sleepless night.

Viewing this print leads one to wonder:

Has the observer been driven to violence?

Three shots to the screen?

Or is something --aliens or giant ants, Kristi Noem or even Ron Popeil himself-- trying to get out?

Travelers advisory...

 "Please do not rely upon the US government for assisted departure or evacuation at this time"

Stating the obvious

 What I wanna know is which shot killed Ms Good.

The one through the windshield, or one of the two through the driver's side window?

Will we ever find out?

Probably for some people, it won't make a difference. She disobeyed an order. He thought he was in danger.

But the implication is obvious. If the kill shot came through the driver's side window, the officer was probably no longer facing an imminent threat, assuming there ever was one.

Had he not pulled the trigger , they would both be alive.

Silk Road Ark

 While the US sends an armada to the Caribbean, China sends a hospital ship, the Silk Road Ark. The USA takes military action in Venezuela, and the Silk Road Ark treats thousands of patients in Nicaragua and Jamaica on its Caribbean tour. China establishes goodwill and partnership throughout South America, and the USA hits them with tariffs and cancels USAID.

And threatens Greenland

.

A COVID Retrospective

“And so I remind myself: my real challenge right now is a spiritual one. In the midst of an evolving, unprecedented crisis, can I truly practice living moment to moment? Can I take on this strange new life day by day, from a place of tender awareness rather than fear? Can I let go of the ways I thought life would unfold and save my strength to swim with the tide? Can I stay focused on what’s good, right now?” ~ Katrina Kenison, from “The gift of an ordinary day”

                                                                  *******

That is the challenge isnt it? I was just at the grocery. I see all the people. They are worried. Nervous. Wiping down shopping carts. Looking at the cashier through a plexiglass screen. I want to reach out, but we have to keep our distance. So I find myself sauntering along with a stupid smile on my face waiting for someone to look up so I can give them my best “How do you do?”.
But people these days are so afraid to look up.
Twice, maybe three times I choked up a little over this distance that has had to be imposed. Its like a vacuum. I just want to fill it.
A couple years ago I came into possession of a big Rudolph head. You put it over your head, and its got the big screen eyes you can see through. Suddenly you are a Disney character. Ive had so much fun wearing that thing during Christmas; meetings, parties, even wore it to an art show.
An idea came over me two weeks ago. I should wear it to the grocery, with a little blue mask! So I posted a pic on FB and asked should I or should I not do this?
Of course everyone says yes. I could do it, it is my Superpower, doing stuff like that.
But SHOULD I?
So I made a dry run to the store. No Rudolph head, just my blue mask, just trying to get a feel for people.
Two weeks ago was just like today. Every body is too nervous, too on edge. I don't want to appear to make light of this serious situation we are in. I don't want to disrespect anyone's dignity, or mess with their serenity. That’s the challenge.
But here one day, when things aren't so tight, maybe I wear my mask in.

''There are no easy answers, no clear path through any of this, other than caution, kindness, and care for ourselves and others.
That is the challenge...""

Until then I’ll just have to stick to a big smile and “How do you do?”

Do these cookies make my butt look big?

 

"Mommy, what is Adultery?"

“For some reason the most vocal Christians among us never mention the Beatitudes. But often, with tears in their eyes, they demand that the Ten Commandments be posted in public buildings. And of course that’s Moses, not Jesus. I haven’t heard one of them demand that the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes, be posted anywhere......I am enchanted by the Sermon on the Mount. Being merciful, it seems to me, is the only good idea we have received so far. Perhaps we will get another idea that good by and by—and then we will have two good ideas.”
Kurt Vonnegut


Funny. I don't think I would have an objection to the Beatitudes being posted in a government building. I'm not sure I would object so much to the 10 Commandments, except they don't really add anything to the room. Too stern, too austere.
I like what Vonnegut said about the beatitudes. Its a nice piece of writing. I remember when I was a boy and heard them on the movie King of Kings. Jeffery Hunter as Jesus. I went to mom. Told her about the beautiful words I'd heard. She pulled out the bible and showed them to me.
I had never really asked to see the 10 Commandments.

Ninety Nine Thousand Nine Hundred Ninety Nine

"...we could have up to 100,000 people that came in from Afghanistan that may be here to do us harm."
Kristi Noem, deflecting blame to the Biden administration for asylum her administration granted to an Afghan CIA operative who came after the fall of Afghanistan in 2021 and Operation Allies Refuge.
100,000 people that came in to do us harm. Really?
What's taking so long?
Where are the other 99,999?

I really think foul use is being made of the idea that this is a HUGE problem.