Thursday, December 07, 2006

CUCKOO, CUCKOO

I don't know how I get on these lists, but thanks for the tag, Annelisa, I will do my best!!!
http://www.blogger.com/profile/32852503
How and why am I so weird? They want six examples...thanks for asking and lets take it from the top, shall we?

Boys will be boys
>I will Eat, Drink, Smoke and F*ck just about anything. Since I am so weird we will count that as “1”
I eat Ice Cream out of the carton with a fork, I like Graham Crackers dipped in Sprite, raw Eggs and Honey in Grapefriut Juice and have tried to smoke ground up Crickets as a substitute for Roaches. As for the F*ck part, you don’t even want to know.

It could save your life.
>I have not owned a car for 28 months.
I ride a bicycle or walk to work and to just about everywhere else I go. The last time I bought gas for myself it was 1.35 a gallon and I thought that was OUTRAGEOUS. It is not entirely by choice, but it is a freedom like I have never known. A MAJOR side effect of this is the fact that I have quit smoking without trying to quit. Its because of the bike- my body and mind rejected Cigarettes- over the period of 1 year I went from a pack a day to a pack a week... then a pack a month. I haven’t smoked a single cigarette in 6 weeks.

Sometimes dead is better
> I did not care if I ever worked again.
It was not long ago that I lived in a burned out Mobile Home without Water or Electricity for almost a year and a half. I did not eat for a week. I was situated between a Metal Scrap Yard, a Railroad track, a Race track, a Dynamite plant and three very angry German Shepherds. It was noisy, but I was lucky to be there. The rest of my life is Gravy.

Life= Time, Time= Space, Space=The Planets, Human = Race
> I am very good at random thought.
In the second grade we had an exercise where we were to draw lines between objects that matched like a Dog and a Doghouse, a hat and a pair of gloves and a hammer and a nail and a bat and a ball. I had no idea what they wanted me to do. To the point of tears. I realize now that there really were no wrong answers. I can think outside anyone’s box.

Higher Math
> I am very good at basic Math skills...
...but am too sensitive for Algebra, Geometry and whatnot. When you say “Let x=y” all I can think is that it is not fair.... to either of them.

Weird is as Weird Does
> The Checkout line at the Grocery store...
...with the Ex- Mrs Bulletholes. There is a magazine that says “THE 12 BEDROOM FANTASIES THAT HE WILL NEVER TELL YOU ABOUT”. I point it out to ex- Mrs Bulletholes and ask...
” What is this, part one?’
She is in a good mood and giggles. Then I say to no one in particular...
”Me? I can do 12 on one hand”.
She clobbered me.

The strangeness of this life cannot be measured... our faults and weaknesses and mistakes define and make us all the more magnificent.
And Annelisa, this was a blast!!! Thanks!!!
Do I win?
Hold the presses whileI tag young Davy, me boyo, me bucko, me Nephew, who may give me-o a run for the money-0!!!
http://theunderachieverparadox.blogspot.com/
Who else? Well the Grizzbabe is much too busyhttp://grizzbabesden.blogspot.com/
As is Ol' royhttp://www.kilroythegonzopapers.blogspot.com/
I always love the Ol' Lady; people are STRANGE!!!http://eclectictales.blogspot.com/
AND BARBARA IS NOT WEIRD AT ALL SO THAT MAKES HER PERFECT FOR THIS
http://www.blogger.com/profile/5665351
And there is Kissyface that I miss...Don't fall over/in/out there!!!http://beautifulcandy.blogspot.com/
Of course I am leaving one out that is on some kind of weirdo break;http://red-dirt-girl.blogspot.com/

So now I have learned to do this and maybe now I can set up some links for these my electronic Freinds.
oh, my other good friend that has been tagged and bagged her weird post already... already!!!
Are you ready, Mother of Invention??http://felinehangout.blogspot.com/

12 comments:

Mother of Invention said...

You are even weirder than me! We all have our moments though. I love the Gr. 2 matching lines outside the box story. You are so right on! Those stupid tests don't allow for unique vantage points and different perspectives, and you certainly have that.

I love the way you present things! I never know if you are pulling our legs or not!

Dave said...

I was hoping to get tagged on this one but I wasn't going to beg. May take me a day or two.

Cheers!

Barbara said...

I love you when I read stuff like this. I never ever thought X or Y was being slighted in the equation. God, what a thought!

And, thanks pal for the tag. I am a lot weirder than you ever thought. I will get back to you maybe tomorrow on this one once I give it some thought!

Annelisa said...

:-D

Excellent weirdness, Steve!

Crackers in Sprite?, Crickets as roaches? :-D

I so love your humour! lol! Poor old X and Y... What about the equation "Let X = 2Y"... Does this give X a split personality or something?

I'd like to hear more about the burned-out mobile home... sounds like you might have had a rough time there...

And a really huge well done for not going back to the smokes!! Stick to it- I'm 2 years down the line, and it's sooooo worth it!

Good post, Steve - glad I tagged you!

GrizzBabe said...

Thanks for the tag, Steve! When I come off of my hiatus, this will be the first post I'll make. What on earth will I come up with????

red-dirt-girl said...

of course you would tag me, cowboy! when you KNOW that my entire 'being' is totally weird.......how about, like, six things that make me seem NORMAL????

I'll think on this one and let you know when I've posted it......by the way did you see my 'quote of the month' .....shoes are like men except......? I fell on the floor laughing on that one - a rare occurence during my 'melancholy' months......

btw: LOVE your list of weird things.......of course my mind went straight to the gutter.....life sounds like it hasn't been quite so kind to you, cowboy.....ahhh - and you're one of the nicest people I know, or sort of know....kind of .....you know! It's mighty cold right now, please bundle up well when you walk or ride your bike....and watch out for those snarky suburban moms in their SUV's on their cell phones....! You know the type, the ones who honk at you for riding in the road.....(that would never be me: snarky or honking - LOL)

rdg

steve said...

Pulling your legs??? Which part???all true except for that which is noted by an asterisk...Tried to get high on Crickets in the 8th Grade...
For the 3rd time in ten years I find myself having to rebuild myself from the ground up...if it doesn't catch this time i don't know if I can do it again...of course, thats what I said last time too...
All the trials seem to have sharpened my wit and sense of humor...

red-dirt-girl said...

Ok Steve,
Since I'm on a "weird" break....I'll post 6 weird traits over here at your blog...(does that count for number 1?) But honestly, I'm just a strange person all around.

1. Like Mother of Invention, I was a thumb-sucker until I was 6. However, instead of carrying a blankie, I used the ends of my hair to tickle my ear while I sucked my thumb - thus right thumb was reserved for sucking and left ear for tickling. I would sometimes rub my left ear (with hair hanging over it) against something soft, like a blankie, to get the same effect. I was once in a department store, rubbing up against my mother's wool coat and sucking my thumb, when I looked up and discovered that the woman I was 'rubbing' was NOT MY MOTHER!! Talk about trauma.....yeah, I hear you all laughing out there! My parents tried everything to get me to stop sucking my thumb...nothing worked - I was determined. Until I fell in love with Tinkerbell hand lotion and perfume. So, for the love of a bottle of Tinkerbell lotion and perfume, I stopped - and never did it again!

2. When I was 6, I decided to run away from home (this was shortly after my mom and I moved in with my step-dad). So I went to the postal kiosk at the apartment complex and waited for the mailman. When my parents found me, they asked me what I was doing. I explained, matter of factly, that I was waiting for the mailman to come so that he could mail me back home to my dad in Oklahoma.....sad but true. They just laughed and told me to get in the car.

3. I was always the goody-two shoes kid that got caught whenever I tried to 'be bad.' For instance, I got caught using a neighbors' canoe to row on their pond, while my girlfriend and I smoked cigarettes stolen from my mom. I was caught 'doing the deed' with my boyfriend while I was supposed to be babysitting, by leaving the condom wrapper under the sofa.....it also ended my career as a babysitter in the neighborhood. (Now as a mom, I can understand why.) In college, I lived with a sculptor/artist. He had installed this piece in a local state park that tracked the moon phases. So, we got permission to be in the park 'after hours' to photograph the full moon rising. Of course, we were late, and the park gates were closed and locked. He jumped the fence and ran to get his shots. I was left holding the blanket and wine, trying to climb over the fence, when I got caught by the police. It took a long time to sort that story out!

4. The two weirdest things that have happened to me are 1. In college, with same artist boyfriend, we decided to hike a park along the Chattahoochee River. We ran into an elderly couple: he very dapper in tweed with a hat; she in a sweater with pink keds. They asked us which way was the parking lot. We genially stopped, pointed out the way and chit-chatted. They explained to us that the FBI was chasing them through the woods because they had information that 'proved' the landing on the moon was fake. We decided to direct them on to a different path, and WE took off for the parking lot.....! 2. Last year, for complicated reasons, I experienced a medically induced 'psychotic' state. I literally laid down on my son's soccer field and watched the sky crack into a million jagged blue pieces - each one of which felt like it was falling and stabbing my skin. I was also screaming at my psychiatrist to do SOMETHING RIGHT NOW on my cell phone...he phoned in a heavy dose of Ativan which knocked me out for the rest of the weekend. Yeah, that was me, suburban soccer mom laid out on the field and then I couldn't remember a darn thing I did the rest of that weekend. My kids pointed me to the family office where I had spent the weekend thumbtacking all their artwork from, like the last 7 years, all over the walls....I didn't leave a bare spot......!

5. I'm bipolar. Which in itself really isn't classified as 'weird' but more as a 'mood disorder' (LOL)- but weird things happen to me in different phases. For instance, in a manic or "up" phase, I get very obsessed with projects, people, activities. I throw lavish parties staying up to 4 in the morning decorating (and I HATE parties!); I've started and sold/walked away from 3 businesses: import/export; scrapbooking store (still going strong!); garden design (I just lost interest when I hit a depressive phase...); Have obsessively painted and re-painted many of the rooms in my house; have dismantled a Christmas tree display at Walmart because I wanted to buy the tree - at midnight - with an equally manic friend; blogging is my latest - I am on my 3rd or 4th blog...which is partly why I have to take a break - after my kids told me they didn't think I could survive without a computer attached to me for 24 hours....!

6. I don't wear high heels! I think this is weird because I started a blog ABOUT high heel shoes. You see I'm 5'-9" in bare feet and my husband, who claims he is taller, is the same height. Since he is latino, he has a 'respect issue' about me appearing taller than him in public. So, I own a total of 2 pairs of high heel shoes which I only wear when I go out with girlfriends, who then all complain that I'm close to 6 feet tall and tower over them....geesh.....no winning that one!

Ok, as weird as I am, I could go on forever but that's 6. I don't know enough 'different' bloggers whom I think would respond to this meme......so I'll leave it at that! And point out that obviously I'm still roaming the blogs during my 'self-imposed' break! LOL

red dirt girl

Mother of Invention said...

Thanks, Steve! Well, there seems to be enough weirdness in all of us to spread over the entire WWW!

I think you must be an incredibly resilient person. You keep bouncing back and trying again..you know..like those blow up clowns you used to be able to punch?! I don't doubt it will work this time. We all hope so!

To RDG: You've outdone us all! Wow..what a life! I'm pretty tame and straight in comparison.

I had a friend in my town and he's the one who got me blogging..he is bipolar and has had very similar experiences to you. He tried meds and hated them since they took away his manic phase in which he can be most productive. I learned enough about it to know that it is very hard to deal with as the person who has it, and others sometimes as well. You sound like you have a good supportive family.
Thanks for being so open and sharing all your weirdness! This was a fun meme!

Annelisa said...

...and I wasn't going to tag RDG, because she said she was taking a break!! ...no accounting for weirdness... One day, the two of you should meet up! :-D

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Kim said...

OK Mr BH, I think I get it now. This certainly is alot to take in all at once.