Monday, December 11, 2006

WHERES MY WAITRESS?

I was steady into recounting a few of my Psycho Dreams for you all when we were called away; I owed you another sweet Lily story, and the balding Annelisa asked that we bare our weirdness.
I give us all 'A''s.
So now that the cat is out of the bag, I would like to finish with a Dream that illustrates the Question Barbara asked....why do we Dream these things?
It also makes me wish that I were as smart awake as I am asleep...

AFTER 10 YEARS OF BEING OUT OF THE KITCHEN, I STILL HAVE KITCHEN NIGHTMARES- THEY SELDOM HAVE A VERY HAPPY ENDING… THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE!
In my dream I have my Cutting board set up, I have surrounded myself with food to process and I am all set …except people keep coming to me with all manner of requests. The General Manager needs me to measure his office for book shelves, the valet parking guy needs me to come and jump a car off, maintenance wants me to show them how to fix the tile in the mens dressing room (I did tile for 8 years) and its like one thing after the other keeps me away from doing my job. But in the Foodservice Industry, the answer is always "Yes" and Foodservice people ALWAYS help.
Finally, all the BullShit tasks completed, I step up to my cutting board, knife in hand, ready to rock the house. I’m doing Cantaloupes. I have cases of them stacked to the ceiling. I reach for another to shave the peel off and notice that there is someone standing next to me. I look up to see what could only be described as an English “chap”. He is wearing a Tweed Jacket, Scarf and little Riding Cap. He is in his 60’s, has one of those Curly-Q Mustaches, a pipe and is wearing a Monocle. He is the mental picture you get when you say “Chap”.
“Can I help you?” I ask. Foodservice people always help.
‘Thank you , young man, quite possibly you can. I am looking for a pair of ‘Knee Socks’”
“Knee Socks” says I…
“Knee Socks” says he.
I glance around the Kitchen and clear my throat.
“ Does any one here have a pair of Knee Socks” I announce.
All movement in the Kitchen and Waiters Station stops.
Foodservice people always help.
Out of the corner of my eye I detect some movement by the Ice machine. There is a Cocktail Waitress there, she is looking right at me and I can tell that she is going to answer my request.
“Knee Socks?” she asks.
“Knee Socks” says I.
Very daintily, she reaches down and with thumb and forefinger of one hand, and grasps the hem of her skirt. She slowly raises her skirt to just reveal a garter belt and Fishnet Stockings. She raises her heel and on pointed toe flexes her knee to the inside slightly to further advertise the Product. Very nice.
“Like these?” she asks, in almost a whisper...
I look to the Chap; he is rather shocked; his eyes widen, the pipe dangles from his lower lip, the monocle pops from his eye and he shakes his head “NO’ very quickly. I look back to the Waitress and give her a wink.

“I don’t think so, little honey” I say “But you are looking real good today”

What I have to wonder is…. did my mind have this dream worked out from the start or did I make it up as I went along? I find it difficult to believe that I could come to that conclusion without having planned it in some way that i am totally unaware of. I have to add that I have dreams like this, dreams that have foreshadowing and plot and beginning, middle, and end…. a lot.

What do ya'll think?

8 comments:

red-dirt-girl said...

LOL - my first smile of the day......don't ask me what I think.....it will be x-rated!

Mother of Invention said...

It is possibly what you want to happen so you are already consciously thinking along those lines and it's easily absorbed into the subconscious.

Or maybe you saw a babe with fishnets on that day!

Old Lady said...

What! She didn't transmorgify into a spitting two headed banshee when you turned back around? What's wrong with you, having normal planned dreams like that?

Anyway, my take is frustration or anxiety about reaching goals, due to necessary interruptions and your aggravation therein, until a more pleasing interruption occurs.

steve said...

It started out to be one of my Garden Variety Impossible Mission in the Kitchen dreams, then took a bit of a turn.
The idea of knee socks being Stockings and the Monacle that is going to Pop out...well I just wonder where that all came from... or did I just use what was there already?
Old Lady hits it pretty square... most of my dreams are not to hard to figure.

Dave said...

I think your mind developed this dream's plot through extensive trial and error. You only got to see the finished product. Somewhere in the corner is a waste bin filled with crinkled-up scripts and story boards. I can't believe you didn't tell us what color hair the waitress had...

Dave

Barbara said...

I say just keep a notebook by your bed and write your dreams down every time you have one. Before you know it, you will have a best-seller. We're all so much more clever in our dreams than we ever are in real life.

steve said...

Dave I thnk you got it!!! I've had work dreams for years that never come to anything but me having to work my ass off, going Mach 3 with my hair on fire and take whatever blame happens to be flung in my direction...
She had Auburn hair and a Chassis like an XJS...
This was from about 4 years ago...now I have dreams about Radios and Computers...

red-dirt-girl said...

Hi cowboy,

I just tagged you over at Annelisa's blog for the book tag. If you don't have her link, here it is: http://wordsthatflow.blogspot.com

even though, YES, I'm 'supposed' to be taking that 'break'......!

I'm looking forward to reading your answers.....this should be interesting....I hope it's not some technical manual.....though you can make ANYTHING sound funny!

red dirt girl