Friday, February 24, 2017

GENDER BENDER

I got this friend from my youth. He owns a business. His employees call him sir. His wife calls him husband his kids call him dad. He chews tobacco, coaches the softball team, plays third base and bats .330. Usually at home he is in baggy shorts flip flops and a tank top. Shaves his head an wears a beard. He dresses business casual at work, but sometimes wears a suit.
The thing is, when I knew him 45 years ago, he was a girl and one of the best friends I ever had.
So what restroom do you think this fellow should use?

Thursday, February 23, 2017

I WENT TO THE STORE FOR A PIE

Or some cookies, maybe some Blue Bell ice cream or something. 

I came home with a loaf of wheat bread, some Almond Soy Milk, Smuckers All Natural Peanut Butter, and Centrum Silver for Men.
Being a bit more feeble minded these days, I had trouble finding the Centrum. The young man came from behind the counter to help. 
“Here they are” he said, and handed me the bottle. 
“Thank you sir” said I. “Tell me, what does the Silver part stand for?”
He looked all sheepish and said “Well, its for, um, for, you know, man I don’t want to say”. 
“Its for old guys like me isn’ it? That’s what the Silver is for, isn’t it?” 
He looked relieved. “Yes sir”. 
I looked at the label. “Has it got that Gilko Bilboa stuff? “ 
He laughed. “Yes sir” 
“How about that Ginseng? Does it have Ginseng? Do you think that stuff really works?” 
He laughed and said “I hope so”. 
“Me too son, me too”

Friday, February 17, 2017

100,000 NATIONAL GUARD TO ROUND UP ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS

Usually when I get in a discussion with someone about this they start out with ‘Deport them all. Just being here is a criminal act”. But after a while they calm down a bit, and say “just the criminals who have committed other crimes” which was Obama’s policy. But not all of them tone it down.
It was eliminating Obama’s policy that Trump campaigned on, saying ““We will immediately terminate President Obama’s two illegal executive amnesties (DACA and DAPA) in which he defied federal law and the constitution to give amnesty to approximately 5 million illegal immigrants,”

I’ll be glad to think that he has softened this approach, but it doesn’t surprise me that they might consider it before realizing it’s a bad idea. I just wonder what his base thinks.

“Wisdom is so kind and wise
that wherever you may look
you can learn something about God.”
St Catherine

GILLIAN

I have kitchen dreams all the time. from when I used to be a chef. I had one a few nights ago, and recently in my dreams I’ve been naked in the kitchen. No one seems to notice but me, and I’m hugely embarrassed, running around bare beamed buck naked in the kitchen.
And I was naked in the one I had a few nights ago.
I was only wearing one thing. A cloth chefs hat. And somewhere in the dream I ran into you, Gillian. You looked at me, and like everyone else, didn’t seem to notice I was naked.
So I asked you “Does my Chefs hat look OK?”
You said ‘yes it looks fine” and I went on about my dream, happy that my hat looked OK.
Because I knew you would have said so if it didn’t.

Monday, February 13, 2017

LA MUERTA



...forgive me. If you no longer live,
if you, beloved, my love,
if you have died,
all the leaves will fall in my breast,
it will rain on my soul night and day,
the snow will burn my heart,
I shall walk with frost and fire and death and snow,
my feet will want to walk to where you are sleeping, but
I shall stay alive,
because above all things
you wanted me indomitable,
and, my love, because you know that I am not only a man
but all mankind.
pablo neruda

Image~Margherita Vitagliano

Tuesday, February 07, 2017

NIGHTHAWKS



"My friend Michael and I are walking home arguing about the movie.
He says that he believes a person can love someone
and still be able to murder that person.

I say, No, that’s not love. That’s attachment.
Michael says, No, that’s love. You can love someone, then come to a day

when you’re forced to think “it’s him or me”
think “me” and kill him.

I say, Then it’s not love anymore.
Michael says, It was love up to then though.

I say, Maybe we mean different things by the same word.
Michael says, Humans are complicated: love can exist even in the
murderous heart.

I say that what he might mean by love is desire.
Love is not a feeling, I say. And Michael says, Then what is it?

We’re walking along West 16th Street—a clear unclouded night—and I hear my voice
repeating what I used to say to my husband: Love is action, I used to say
to him.

Simone Weil says that when you really love you are able to look at
someone you want to eat and not eat them.

Janis Joplin says, take another little piece of my heart now baby.

Meister Eckhardt says that as long as we love images we are doomed to
live in purgatory.

Michael and I stand on the corner of 6th Avenue saying goodnight.
I can’t drink enough of the tangerine spritzer I’ve just bought—

again and again I bring the cold can to my mouth and suck the stuff from
the hole the flip top made.

What are you doing tomorrow? Michael says.
But what I think he’s saying is “You are too strict. You are
a nun.”

Then I think, Do I love Michael enough to allow him to think these things
of me even if he’s not thinking them?

Above Manhattan, the moon wanes, and the sky turns clearer and colder.
Although the days, after the solstice, have started to lengthen,
we both know the winter has only begun."
Poem~ Marie Howe
Image~ Edward Hopper

Wednesday, February 01, 2017

ITS ALRIGHT WE TOLD YOU WHAT TO DREAM



“Wow, what a cool dream. Oh man, how clever! No, not yet, don’t wake up. Not until we…yeah, good idea. You are going to want to write this one down. That’s it, do this, this is completely profound. We know just how to write it too. And now this, yes, this is genius! We can’t believe what we are dreaming here. Just another three scenes and we can wrap it up. Yes! That was perfect! We can see the ending now. Magnificent. Makes perfect sense, perfect sense, people will be amazed because its not just smart, its hilarious! Waking now, waking now, what an ending. OK, we’re awake. Get up and write it down, write it down. Shoot, a dream that vivid we don’t need to write down. A dream like that just writes itself. How do we forget a dream like that, and the pillow is cool and soft and we will write it down first thing, positively the first thing when we wake up.”


Shit, we cant recall a thing. That’s twice this year. We have to get up and write them down right then. We know that.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

SILENT SPRING

“If the Bill of Rights contains no guarantee that a citizen shall be secure against lethal poisons distributed either by private individuals or by public officials, it is surely only because our forefathers, despite their considerable wisdom and foresight, could conceive of no such problem.” 
― Rachel CarsonSilent Spring


BELITTLING THE GIFT

A listing of Sufi Nafs, things we should be alert to and try to dissolve from our lives.
It prompted me to answer a text I had snubbed from an old old friend. 

Being proud of one’s spiritual state
Arrogance
Envy
Miserliness
Being vengeful
Denying the giver of gifts or belittling the gifts
Being dissatisfied and complaining about one’s state
Ceasing to have hope for God’s Mercy
Being sure of God’s punishment
Condoning tyranny and helping tyrants
Speaking against decent people
Being hungry for approval and compliments
Fearing criticism
Setting traps for others
Fawning over people for personal benefit
Being happy about disasters that fall upon people
Taking pleasure in people’s suffering
Gossiping
Being a hypocrite
Being a coward
Not keeping one’s word
Believing in bad luck
Leading a life of no responsibility
Making excuses
Not keeping to one’s path due to laziness
Lamenting the loss of things
Not accepting one’s error and continue insisting on it
Being afraid of poverty
Making oneself depressed
Taking pleasure in belittling others
Being disdainful of the poor
Forgetting about one’s own shortcomings and being preoccupied with the shortcomings of others
Excluding from one’s heart the love of God

Friday, January 20, 2017

NOT MY PRESIDENT? NOT MY BROCCOLI.

He might be THE President, but for me, the jury is still out whether he is mine. We'll see. He could win me over the way Clinton did.
Back when I first started working for Hyatt and doing banquets, I went through a spell of overcooking the broccoli. I'd put 500 portions in the steamer, and let it go a minute too long, and instead of being pretty and green, it was the drab green color of an Army tank. And I'd have to go get 8 more cases and try again.
One night it was a close call. It was just a LITTLE overcooked, so I went with it.
As we are plating up, the chef is giving me dirty looks, and the broccoli I thought was just a little overcooked didnt look so good anymore.
At some point I said to the chef "Chef, I'm ashamed that your broccoli is not what its supposed to be"
He looked at me, and took a portion of broccoli and tossed it in the trash can.
"Its not MY broccoli" he said.
I never overcooked the broccoli again.
So if somehow it slips out of my mouth in the next four years that Trump is "not my President", that will be what I am talking about.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

DIVORCE AND SEPARATION

ARE HARD, BUT MURDER IS ALWAYS AN OPTION.


Thursday, January 05, 2017

TRUMP AND THE PEARLY GATES

So Trump, Putin, and Clinton all show up to the Gates of Heaven at the same time. St Peter says “I can only let one of the three of you in.”
So Donald steps forward and says ”I gave all my money to Charity”
Then Hillary steps forward and says “I fought for the women and the children of the world all my life”.
Putin gives Peter his best innocent Commie smirk and says “I’m knowing now the stpeter@pearlygates.com” and winks.
Peter raises his arms in glory and says, in Russian:
"Заходи оттуда Владмир, мой товарищ, и сделать себя как дома прямо сейчас!"
which translates roughly to:
“Come inside from there Vladmir, my comrade, and making yourself at home now!"

I ALMOST FORGOT

HAPPY NEW YEAR!







REFLECTIONS


Sometimes people ask me how a non-religious person can believe in God. The best answer I have is that I have come to believe that a power greater than me can restore me to sanity. Can make me better, soothe me, heal me. That power takes on several different forms. If I'm open I can find it even in the different religious literature.
A crescent moon, the melting snow, the cry of a tiny baby.
I may not be able to see it, smell, touch, or taste it, but I know when it happens.
I know when its there.
How do I know?
I know by what I am reflecting.
Not my thinking.
Reflecting.  By what is shining from and through me.