IF WE WERE IN PHILLY

 

I remember down in San Antonio, and Linda and I were trying to find a place to park in the endless caravan of cars creeping along the riverwalk. It went like this:
"There's a spot, Steve!"
"Its two lanes over"
"Well, get over there"
"I'll try..."
"Theres a spot!"
"I wont fit"
"Back up and try"
"There's a car right behind me"
"Oh, you missed it then"
"I tell you what, I'm going to take a right up here and see what happens"
I take the right.
"You should have gone left"
"OK hot rod, the next turn I'll ask what we should do"
We creep along in silence, her arms across her chest.
"OK Linda, right or left here?
You look both ways a couple times...
"Ummm...Ummm..." you say.
The guy behind me honks. I take the left.
"I was about to say right!"
"Too late now!"
Then you say "If we were in Philly and I was driving we'd be parked by now. This is nothing compared to Philly!"
And we both just cracked up!
Ended up finding a good spot.
Ya know, if we can get through that we could probably get through anything!

ANY LUCK?

 

Bloodrock is legendary around here. Famous for but one early 70's hit, DOA, about a fatal car crash Back when I was 16 I heard Bloodrock lived out at Eagle Mountain Lake. So me and some buddies loaded up and went looking for them. All weekend, cruising Eagle Mountain, hit every beach, every Foosers Hut, every underage bar, looking high and low for Bloodrock.
You may wonder did we have any luck?
Hell yes!
But we never did find Bloodrock.

Apparently he got that one wrong.

 "I don't think anybody is questioning the legitimacy of the presidential election"

~Kevin McCarthy

THE LATEST ADDITION TO THE RENFRO CULINARY REPETOIRE

I told my friend Nancy about my first week as lunch cook at The Crystal Cactus, the Hyatt's gourmet Restaurant back in 1982.
"My third day the chef came to me and said that the special tomorrow would be Cannelloni. I had no idea what that was, and had no intention of revealing my ignorance. There was no such thing as Google back then, so I went that evening to Barnes and Noble bookstore and found a recipe for Cannelloni's. The next morning I went in an hour early to do something I had never done before:
Make pasta from scratch and roll out the dough as thin as I could get it.
It sounded like it might be difficult, and there had been mention of a machine that would do it for you. It ended up being more difficult than it sounded, and I found out why old Italian women have big burly arms.
Never having made pasta dough I could only hope the consistency was close enough. I was rolling that dough pretty hard when the chef appeared at my side.
"What are you doing, Renfro?" he asked.
"Making cannelloni's, chef" I replied.
He reached into a cooler and pulled out a box of Eggroll wrappers. Genius!
"We usually just use these." he said "but its looks like you got it going."
The next week he showed me where they kept the pasta roller machine. There is a lesson here I think"
I told Nancy this story last weekend, and today came in the mail my new surprise Pasta Roller Noodle Making Machine.

THE MASK NAZI

 

I had an unpleasant experience at a local Will Call picking up a package.

Big sign outside saying masks required, and "Employees Only" for inside. After a few minutes a girl comes to the door, opens it a crack and mumble's something. She had to repeat it 3 times before I could figure it out.

"Where's your mask? she asks "You need a mask."

"I'm not coming in, am I? I'm not supposed to come in, right?" and I try to hand her the invoice. She won't take it.

"You have to have a mask"

"Out here?"

"Yes, its our policy"

"Oh... I do not have a mask with me"

She disappears, obviously exasperated that I would dare come to her door mask less. A minute goes by. She brings me a mask. I put it on. Now, through the crack in the door, she will take the invoice. She brings my package and slips it, wordlessly, through the crack in the door. I cannot for the life of me remember ever leaving a place of business without saying "Thank You" to someone. This was a first.

I am all for masks, I’ve got both vaccines and still wear one everywhere I go, but if you are going to ask me to wear one outside your door, you really should at least say "Good afternoon" first.

I've been trying to decide whether to call the company or not, and now that I've written it down I surely do believe I will.