MAKING AMENDS

STEP EIGHT-"WE MADE A LIST OF ALL PERSONS WE HAD HARMED AND BECAME ENTIRLY READY TO MAKE AMENDS TO THEM ALL"

STEP NINE-"WE MADE AMENDS TO SUCH PEOPLE WHEREVER POSSIBLE, EXCEPT WHEN TO DO SO WOULD INJURE THEM OR OTHERS"

I got to speak on the 12 Steps the last month down at my NA Group. Four hours total over four nights.
On night three, I had to cram in 5,6,7,8, and 9, because I had spent two weeks just doing 1-4..

I spent a lot of time talking about Step 8 and 9, and talking about my son. How we had come up together in our addiction. Not that we ever used together, we didn’t. He had introduced me a few years ago at a meeting I spoke at by saying “My dad, he taught me how to be an addict. But when it came time to get clean, he showed me how to do that too”.
Thats why I say we came up in our addiction together.

I talked about him a lot regarding the 8^th and 9^th Steps. I said:

“I tell my son I will always owe him. All those times I left him waiting on the curb for me to show up and didn’t. All those times we could have gone fishing, but I was out chasing dope, or else coming off a run and too tired to do anything. The times I would leave in the middle of the night, and not get back home until way into the next morning.  The opportunities I had to be a good dad, to tell him the right thing to do, but had no credibility to tell him anything. I’ll always owe him. But the best amend I can make to him is to never do any dope again today, and practice the principles of the 12 Steps in all my affairs. To participate in my own life. It may be that the very best amend I can make to him, which I struggle with even today, is to have a clean and tidy apartment when he pops in to visit.
There is a lady at work and her son is in the program. She talks about how he tries to make amends to her, but he isn’t very good at it. When I think about that, I cant help but wonder what kind of an amend my son should make to me. And I just cant think of a thing. Because I will always owe him. But some of you youngsters, you may be thinking you need to make an amend to your folks. And you might wonder how to make that amend. I would tell you its just like the one I make to my son. Live the program, be forgiving, practice some unconditional love. Be kind. Do good work. Keep car insurance and drive careful. Stay alive and tell the truth. And above all…call your mother...Just call your mother, OK?”