We Do Recover

I made something for my daughter for a birthday present in 2002. It was a horse head, fashioned with colored grout glued to a piece of travertine. Before you go thinking what a sweet thing to do, you should know that the reason I made it was because I had no money, no job, no visible means of support. I was down, down to the dirt man. Deep in my addiction, I didn’t have two thin dimes to rub together to buy her a birthday present. So I made this stupid horse. It looked like a third grade art project. And though I felt a lot of shame giving her this gift, it was all I could do. I’m not sure what they call it when you pretend to not be ashamed, but what ever it is, that was me. I don’t recall if Aubree liked it, or thought it was dumb, or if she was delighted. I really don’t know.

So fast forward 21 years and her step dad calls me and says he has a box of stuff I might be interested in. And among several items that darn travertine horse head was in there.
The strangeness of this life sometimes cant be measured. I can hardly describe or explain the gratitude I felt to see this thing. And all that shame from all those years ago had faded away and left a wonderful sense of humility.

So I called Aubree and asked it she remembered this horse head. She kinda did. I told her how it looked like third grade art project and we laughed, and I sent her a picture of it.
“Yes, I DO remember” she said “And dad, its really not that bad. You can tell it’s a horse.”
She is very kind. And she kept it.
I plan to hang it on my wall somehow. Its like a prize, a trophy, a badge.
A crown of thorns.
We Do Recover