POP TARTS

 

I had a little vacation last week. Went to Galveston with my son, an old friend and his son.
As it happens my old friend, Jeffers, he married my ex-wife. That makes him my son’s step-dad. And his son, Dan-O, is half brother to my son.
We are all friends and fathers and sons.
Anyway we have a B&B In Galveston for two nights, and did a little fishing.
At the B&B the counter is cluttered with all sorts of snacks; chips, jerky, trail mix, ect.
The last night there I woke up about 4 a.m. and went into the kitchen looking for a little snack. Right next to the toaster was a single foil pack of Pop Tarts. I looked around a little and decided on the Tarts, got a bottle of water and went back to bed and snacked out.
The next morning I get up and I’m having a cup of coffee.
Dan-O comes in and starts rummaging through the snacks.

 Now Dan-O, he is 21 and an ace Poly-Sci student at the University of Texas. He is 20, but in some ways he is still about 16.
And he is rummaging through the snacks, and I sense an increase in his desperation, and finally he says, to no one in particular “I thought I had some Pop-Tarts here”.

Oh no!

I stayed quiet as a mouse. He continued rummaging a bit and finally says “Has anyone seen my Pop Tarts?”
Its just he and I there so its hard not to address the question. And I can tell by the wild look in his eye that those Pop Tarts mean a whole lot to him. I know how he feels.

Obviously, I have reached a moral dilemma. I can do one of two things:

1. Tell him the truth, that I ate his Pop Tarts
2. Help him LOOK for his Pop Tarts.
    

“Dan-O, I hate to tell you this but I got up last night and ate your Pop Tart. I’m so sorry. I really am”
He was crushed. It was like a dagger through his heart. His knees buckled and he looked to the heavens and let out the most pitiful moan I have ever heard. If I didn’t already feel badly enough now I felt even worse. He went back to his room.

 I went outside. Jeffers was smoking a cigarette.
“Jeff, I’m afraid I ate Daniels Pop Tart last night. It was his only one”
Jeff looked up, alarmed.
“Oh no” he said.
I could tell it was pretty serious.
“How long has Dan-O been having a Pop Tart for breakfast every morning?” I asked.
Jeff looked at me, dead serious.
“Ever since he had teeth”

TOP GUN "MAVERICK"

 

No spoliers, exactly.
I went to see the new Top Gun this weekend. It was good and I cried all the way through it.
But I have to say it wasn’t near as much FUN as the original Top Gun.
In the original Top Gun, Maverick flies inverted over a Russian MIG, flips off the pilot while Goose takes a polaroid. He proceeds to buzz the tower, causing the Sky Chief to spill coffee all over himself, shouting “I want somebodies butt for this”. Maverick and Goose are called onto the carpet to some superior officers office where they are told “One more fuck up and you’ll be flying rubber dogshit out of Hong Kong ” and given their new assignment--Top Gun in Miramar-- every pilots wet dream. Exiting the office they crash into the Sky Chief again. More coffee is spilled “God Dammmit I want somebodies butt” and off to Miramar they go.
At the local bar they serenade a mysterious woman with a rousing rendition of “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’”, and Maverick follows her into the bathroom and suggests they make it right there on the vanity. He is turned down (“Long cruise, sailor?”), but on her way to her seat she tells Goose "You're friend was marvelous". The next day she shows up as the instructor at Top Gun wearing high heels and those stockings with the seam up the back that look so fine. Hilarity ensues.

All of this happens in the first 15 minutes of the 1986 Top Gun. Already, everyone watching the movie loves Goose because he is such a great character and Meg Ryan hasn’t even shown up yet to holler “Goose! You big stud…”
The entire 2022 sequel is dependent on Goose, which is as it should be, but don’t expect it to be as much fun to watch.