Friday, May 03, 2013


I was going to buy you some perfume.
The kind you wear, the kind you bought me.
But I decided I was trying too hard,
Holding on too tight
So I got this card and wrote these lines instead.

I can remember the smell of you
And your perfume
The way it would linger for days
Until I could see you again
I’d pass you in the hall
And at the bottom of the stairs
And it was like you were still there
A spirit lover.
I’d smell you as I brushed my teeth ,
and put on my shirt…

I loved you so much then and I still do.
I never stopped.

Now I put on my shirt and find my shoes
And I just feel so homeless and lost
You've been gone for months
Still its been your lovely scent 
Your impression left in space
Where you have passed  

(the French call it sillage)
Guiding me out the door each day.

I believe the whole world becomes a marvelous place
A marvelous place for everyone in it
When you are with me.
I step outside, you fill my empty world as
The clear pink morning turns light blue  and full of love.

bulletholes 4/2013

I thought I'd given up writing pain poems a long time ago.
I'm hoping it doesn't shine through too sharply on this. The world really doesnt need another "her smell" poem, but there you go.
I had posted it a few days ago, but took it down. i wanted it just to be for me and her for a while.


SL said...

This just takes my breath away. Lovely Bullets, just lovely.

red dirt girl said...

oh cowboy.
this makes me want to give you a big hug.
i know it hurts.
but the pain is so ... exquisite.


bulletholes said...

Thanks SL!
Red, I could use a hug.

Kristi said...

I looked for it after you told me, but it was gone. I'm glad you opened it up again, because it's beautiful. (Not just the closing line - ha.) xxoo

bulletholes said...

Kristi, in one version I actuall had worked in
"Humming "Shower the People"
into the last lines, but I took it out . It was too much.