Friday, June 14, 2013


I was talking with my ex last Friday night. Actually, she was talking to a group of our friends at a big party.
 She says “Do you want to see the difference between men and women?”
Of course, everyone said “Yes”, and she turns to me and asks “Steve, what is the date of our divorce?”
“I don’t know” I said “I took no note of it”
And everybody laughs.
“That’s right” she says “You didn’t even show up in court”
“Sure didn’t “ I said.
And everybody laughs.
Then she asks “Steve, how many years were we married?”
“Oh, That’s easy…thirteen years”
“Nope. Fourteen years 2 months and 12 days”

And everybody laughs and looks at me.

I think about it a minute and say:
“She’s right. I’m counting time from the day we got married to the day I got booted out of the house for good. I knew it was for good. I knew there wouldn’t  be any coming back. I’d used all those up. She had made up her mind. And there is nothing as unwavering as a woman when she ‘s already made up her mind. She’s counting to the day of the divorce. Bastille Day.”

And everybody nods their head, and I look at her, and she's pleased as can be with herself.
"And that" she says "Is the difference between men and women!"
But I'm not going to let it go that easy.
"She is right. But its important to note that like Alexanders ashes, I am still Alexander"

I don't know if anybody got it but me. I just think its cool we can talk about it like that.


soubriquet said...

I recently had to get a copy of my divorce decree, that divorce which happened long ago. I wasn't even sure which year it was....

Truth is, I'd rather forget the whole marriage, and, effectively I pretty much have. If I really try hard, I can see little scenes, cameos, dioramas, from it, but, you know, it's just sketches, blurred by time.

I would kinda like to know what my ex looks like now, so I could get a little doll of her and stick pins in it.

bulletholes said...

I didnt put this in the post, but at the party we were at, Shila came and grabbed me and we danced for the first time in 16 years. It was a high point of the night, not just for me, but for people that were there. She and I dance much the ame, that is to say we are both about a step away from falling down, and someone remarked that watching us dance togethjer was watching two people "meant for each other".
Once upon a time, yes, and there is still love there, but oh, the pain I caused...
Still, its nice for other people to see how well we get along.

red dirt girl said...

I'd agree in the manner of looking at the big picture of the differences between men and women. I remember his birthdate (including birth year); he routinely misses mine ... almost. But I cannot tell you the exact day 'we began.' And I knew my divorce finalized toward the end of Jan 2010, but cannot tell you the date without digging through stacks of paper. I had a hard time remembering my anniversary date during my marriage. I knew it was 'Christmas'. I knew I had wanted it to be on the winter solstice, but the chapel wasn't available ... so I spent a marriage waffling around Dec 20, 21, 22 ....! I don't do hours, minutes or seconds. Too many numbers for my numbskull brain :)

I AM impressed by your cordial relations with your ex. I have no such expectancy or desire for mine. I look forward to the day when the kids are grown, and I only have to suffer marriages, births etc.

I don't know, cowboy. When I'm done, I'm DONE ... ya know ??! I don't look back.


bulletholes said...

Well, Shila told me later she wasnt sure about the weeks and days, I didnt figure she did, she's a little story teller too!

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