Tuesday, April 29, 2014


Every time I been to jail there is always one guy in there repeating the same thing over and over...
"They had NO RIGHT to pull me over! This is bull-shit!" and he is constantly trying to ring his lawyer, his lawyer who will have him out in no time because he's such a big shot.
But after 24 hours its apparent that his lawyer wont be coming, and now he has finally gotten a family member to pick up the phone. This is when the weeping wailing really begins, because the family member is going to let him rot too. Everyone is tired of saving this guy, and now he has his poor mother on the phone on a ten dollar a minute collect call and all he can say is "Don't do me this, momma, don't make me stay in here. dont do me this" over and over and over.
The only wonder to me is why he doesn't have sense enough to do what I'm doing, which is making like Jonah in the belly of the whale, fully understanding that I DESERVE to be here, and having come to that understanding, its just a matter of time before the whale vomits me back onto dry land.

I was in one time and they brought in a couple young punks. They were smiling, cutting it up, just being knuckleheads.
I asked them "What are you in for?"
"We called in a pizza, and beat up the delivery guy for his money"
I said 'That's the most chicken shit thing I ever heard. How much did you get?"
"About 16.50"
"Okee-dokee. You guys cant sit at my table anymore"
I got the feeling it wasn't their first time.


soubriquet said...

I trust you have not been out shooting mailboxes?

I was arrested once.
I went too slow past two cops in driving rain and poor visibility. I then admitted I'd had a drink, but only one, two hours ago, and so they breathalysed me, and the reading showed I'd had a drink, but it was well below the redline.
So they decided to arrest me and hold me a while, in a cell, claiming the big breath analyser machine was 'not ready yet'. When eventually I got my turn to blow in the machine with the dials and knobs and flashing lights, they were so disappointed that the three samples they are allowed by law to take, were all even lower, so they tested me again three more times, illegally. And got the same result.
Desperately disappointed, they gave me my pocket contents back, and my shoelaces, in the hope that I might hang myself.
And then, they gave me my car keys, so I could drive away into the rain and dark, going well under the speed limit, and infuriating police officers everywhere, by obeying the rules and driving at a safe speed in poor visibility.
I was very co-operative and meek, because I knew I was safely under the limit, and I thought being meek would get me out sooner.
I don't think it did.

I've known a few good cops, but I've met a heap of asshole cops.

bulletholes said...

No, no mailbox shooting, but I have a long history of not paying my fees and fines. That's why I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for Mr. Cliven Bundy, Nevada cattle-rancher tuned scofflaw and GOP hero for a day.