Thursday, August 07, 2014


Back when I was married, my wife would ask me every now and then if we could have a baby.
Finally one day she asked and I said “Well, OK, go ahead and stop taking your pills”.
She was so happy!
Then I got home from work that day, and she had all these books, and calendars, and thermometers and stop watches and big Q-Tips and stuff.
Man, she was a real go-getter! I’d be having a cigarette after, ya know, and she would look at her watch and say “Ok, time to go again!”
It sure didn’t take very long to make a baby.


frugalista said...

I wish you had some ads up because i am reading your entire blog backwards and you could be making some serious green.
You remind me of my first love, whom i stalk on FB often. While I was a bit too curvy and not traditionally pretty to be his everlasting beloved, I find secret joy in seeing that he is extremely fat and looks like he's been eating a can of biscuits with butter at every meal. His current beloved is 5 years older than him, but looks like a train hit her and she rolled under the wheels and the train hit her again.He has this habit of getting engaged with women for extended periods of time but never marrying them. I've been married over 30 years and things haven't been perfect, but I don't have to spend a decade wondering if he is going to marry me.So far he has been engaged 3 times: 10 years, 8 years, 7 years. My favorite is the chick who talked him into a vasectomy and broke up with him the day after he had himself snipped. Karma is a bit with a sense of humor.
But you remind me of him, if he hadn't been an asshole and had such delusions of grandeur about himself. If I knew you in real life, you would be the perfect person for us to hang with. Our most frequent visitor is a drunk who keeps talking abut the old days- I think we are somewhere in the mid '80s right now- and the cars he has wrecked- think he's at 12 so far. We only let him come over because he has no other friends, no job and lives with his parents. He takes Cialis and Viagra samples he gets from his doctor and sits around with his parents. When I ask him why, he says it gives him something to do.
Keep writing. You are a cool dude- did I just date myself?

Bulletholes said...

See, Mirs Frugal, I'm sitting here wondering why you haven't been writing over at your sites, and making big money on ads, because I can tell from your comment what you have a quick smile and a dry wit, and we would all get along famously.
I myself have been stockpiling Cialis. In fact I decided to double down on it this week at my doctors appointment.
"Doc, my Cialis isn't working as well as it did the first two years. I think I need a bigger pill" and I held my arms up like I was holding one of those big medicine balls.
He laughed, and bumped my prescription from 10mgs to 20mgs.
I can hardly wait!
Thanks for stopping by!

lee said...

I have a blog, making big bucks, $17.29 in 4 years. Woohoo, I'm gonna get that mansion one day.
It's a god thing you are stocking up on Cialis, because one day you may be the last man on Earth, and what would you have to do then.
I used an old email accidentally. I am using my real one here. I have a blog, but it's more of a whinery, if you know what I mean. I say all the sad shit someone would hate to hear me say out loud. If you want to look, it's But you will hate it. I'm still reading your blog. I stopped to take a nap.You wore me out! I bet you hear that a lot! Peace out, Cobalt

bulletholes said...

Lee, your blog is very pink. I'm afraid I have damaged my retinas. And while you do a little whining, that's part of what a blog is for. I found a way to turn my whining into occasionally entertaining and interesting stories. Its called lying, but writers prefer to call it perspective.
You should look on my sidebar and go take a look at some archived posts from UF Mike. He took whining and failure to a whole new level before he cashed in his chips and started raising rabbits in Montana...

bulletholes said...

Oh, its funny that I have been a year or more without seeing a new reader here at Bullets, but the same post pulls in two. it may have been the song title, yes? I really like this version of the Thonas Dolby tune.

lee said...

You have not written lately, so be distracting you from your work. My blog title is from a Courtney Love song, of which I am sure you are familiar. The James Thurber quote is my motto and my life. I think I will begin writing about the horrendous things my mother did to me as a child, like making when pee out on the side of the road back when 18-wheelers had no speed limits and drove 180 miles an hour. Or how she would make macaroni and cheese with huge chunks of cheddar, put in a huge aluminum dish and put it in the back window deck so it could melt the cheese, never minding that the glare from the foil made lane changing a daredevil challenge. I think it caused all this so-called global warming.
Sorry about the pink, but when I changed it to the pink, my readership doubled, meaning no two people read it daily instead of one. It's all about the marketing, son. Peace, Lee