TOO HARD

Welcome to this one's poor post. I am not "Everyman" http://www.everyman-blog.blogspot.com/ anymore nor am I "Anonymous steve". As of this moment I am not sure if I am "Bullet Holes in the Mailbox" or "stevestories". I imagine I will find out soon enough. The possibility that someone is reading this suggests I have done something right.
I would like to thank those of you who suffered through my EMail Blogs and were kind enough to encourage me. I would also like to beg the Communal Pardon of the entire Blogsphere for some of the Idiot comments I have made on various blogs.
I started out just trying learn to use a Keyboard and have made great progress there.
The following is the first of my "stories " to try to write and I shall give it to you as I wrote it one year ago. I think it took me well over an hour.

"My job has required me to learn to use the Computer and develop some typing skills. This process has yielded some very interesting dreams, none better than the following-I HAD ONE OF MY PSYCHO DREAMS LAST NIGHT- I WAS HAVING DIFFICULTY W/ SHIP LOG, THE BOSS CAME IN AND OBSERVED MY METHOD OF OPERATION (M.O.) AND CONCLUDED THAT I NEEDED TO STRIKE THE KEYS HARDER…… "LIKE THIS" HE WOULD SAY, AND, BAM!!!, HIT THE KEYBOARD HARD. SO I WOULD TRY TO HIT IT HARDER BUT BEFORE TOO LONG I WOULD GET HUNG UP AGAIN AND BOSS WOULD COME IN AND …..BAM!!!... AND THE DATA WOULD DIS-TRUNCATE AND THE INFO WOULD ALL BE THERE. I WOULD BEGIN AGAIN TO ENTER DATA AND BEFORE LONG -YUP, BOSS WOULD COME BACK IN AND HIT THE KEYBORD AND TELL ME "YOU GOTTA HIT IT HARDER"!

SO YOU KNOW WHERE THIS IS HEADED…. I BEGAN TO HIT THE KEYBOARD REALLY HARD BUT IT WOULD NOT WORK FOR ME. FINALLY, I HIT IT REAL HARD AND WHOOPS! SOME THING THAT SOUNDS LIKE A CAR ALARM GOES OFF AND A "JACK IN THE BOX" POPPS OUT OF THE TOP OF THE MONITOR, bouncing up and down and to and fro, HOLDING A SIGN THAT READS............... "TOO HARD"! HILARIOUS! SPRINGS AND MECHANICAL PARTS AND CANDY WRAPPERS AND ALLSORTS OF JUNK FLY OUT OF A GAPING HOLE IN THE KEYBOARD . I GRABBED THE KEYBOARD, YANKED THE CORD OUT OF THE BACK OF THE COMPUTER, AND MARCHED INTO THE BOSSMANS OFFICE , THREW THE KEYBOARD ONTO HIS DESK AND SAID "YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO ORDER ME ANOTHER ONE OF THESE"!

I WOKE UP HOWLING HYSTERICALLY!!"