Friday, June 27, 2014


Summer, 1993
One night at about 2 am a bunch of us were partying over at Velvet's, just like usual. Suddenly the front door bursts open, and its some wild eyed dude, and in one hand he’s got a handful of some slutty looking chicks hair, and in the other hand he’s got a big ol' pistol.
“Where the fuck is JoJo!” he hollers out.
JoJo was one of the people that lived in the trailer there, but  he was was not there at the moment. Jojo’s roommate steps forward, her name is Velvet.
“What are doing bursting into my house?’ she demands
“JoJo been fucking my wife here!” and he jostles the slut around by the hair a little, and waves the gun some more.
Man, I’m sitting on the couch, and I just want out of there, ya know? I'm pretty sure that as crazy as this guy appears to be, he has a valid case because JoJo was fucking just about eeryone in the county, married or not, and this chick looked like she'd been around the block a time or two.

Well, Velvet, all this does is piss her off.
She stomps right up to him, grabs him by the ear, says
“I told you JoJo aint here, get the fuck out of my house” and with a swift kick to the ass,  tosses the guy out and closes the door behind her.
Man, we all just looked at her like she was some kind of badass, ya know? And someone asks her ‘Velvet, weren’t you afraid of his gun?”
Velvet gets this funny look on her face and says:

She never saw the pistol. I dont know how she missed it. I think about that every time I have occasion  to say “I’ve never been in a situation that would not have been made worse with the introduction of a gun.”
Which has been a lot lately because here in Texas we have a  bunch of Open Carry gun nuts going around with rifles slung over their shoulders.

1 comment:

Martijn said...

Fabulous story. Great style.