LIQUID DOPE

THE NEXT LEVEL

My friend Susan came to town a few years back. We went drivin' around the old stomping grounds at Grapevine Lake. She spotted one of those wineries they have up there and wanted to check it out. I'd never been in one before.
We went in and there was a dude behind a bar, handsome in a George Peppard kind of way, silver chest hairs emanating from a shirt unbuttoned at least 4 buttons down, gold chains, pinkie ring, the works. Looked like a real swinger.
Total Californication.
He's handing out wine samples, which I can have none of. I have 693 days clean and sober.

Whats going through my mind is the fact that I haven’t had so much as a sip of ANYTHING for two years, and that whatever he is serving probably is really marvelous and tasty and good and if I even take a sip for a second I’m going to remember how much I LOVE a dry red wine, how it makes me feel all ooshy-gooshy and want to start kissing everything in sight, there won’t be much stopping me from having a glass, a bottle and then just like they talk about down at NA, it will release my addiction all over again and the next thing I know I’ll be checkin’ into some No-Tell Motel with some young freak and a big fat sack of diddly-squiggly.
I’m really not supposed to be here, right?

Anyway, be that as it may, Susan looks at me, sees the look on my face and then she gets this horrified look on her face, remembers that I am an addict and a “12 Stepper” and that I should not be in a winery with a swingin’ Bartender (who is starting to look more like Dennis Hopper) presenting magnificent wines for me to have a sample of.. Its just not a good place for me to be.
She whispers “Oh my God Steve….I forgot…. I’m so sorry…we better leave!”

But I’m feeling a little stronger now, especially since Mr. Californication says it will cost 40 bucks to participate in his little Wine Tasting Chemistry Experiment.
“Its OK, I’m good” I whisper back to Susan.

He takes up the glasses from the 4 people in front of us. He asks a lady if she liked that last wine, a medium-dry Red with hints of raisins and peat moss.
“Yes” she says “It was delicious!”
“So” he says “would you like to take it up to the next level?”
The next level?
I lean to Susan and whisper ‘I’m OK, but if he pulls out a mirror and a straw I’m afraid I may have to leave.”
I know all about the next level.

We decided not to wait around and see.