Wednesday, February 27, 2013


I was at a Sports Bar, listening to a little Buddy Whittington music with a large group of friends.
A poor waitress comes to me in tears. It seems a friend of mine and his wife have walked their check.
Its 30 bucks, not enough to blow your nose on right? So I go ahead and pay it, and give her a $10 tip for her trouble.
Several people call Tracy the next day, to let him know. I didn’t have his number, he wasn’t THAT good a friend.

So I figure the next time I see Tracy, he’ll pay me right?
Fast forward 6 months, and here is Tracy and his wife, drunk again already.
I go and talk to him for a minute, waiting to see if he is going to remember to pay me back for standing good for him.
Apparently he has forgotten, or is just too drunk.

So I say ‘Hey Tracy, you hadn’t forgot about that $30 bar tab have you?”

He looks at me like I just slapped him with a Rainbow Trout.
‘Aw man, you know I’m going to take care of you” he slurs. “I’m going to take good care of my buddy that stood good for me.”
He goes on, through bourbon breath, to explain that they hadn’t really “Walked” the check, they had each thought the other one had paid.
‘So what are you drinking?” he asks.

“Diet coke. Remember Tracy, I been clean and sober for five years now”

‘Conflabulations, dude, thazzz rilly great”
I can see that he is a bit confused as to how to repay me without buying me drinks, so I point towards the entrance.
“There is an ATM right over there Tracy”

Again, I get the look like I’ve hit him with a trout.
“I’ll get you paid.You know I’ll get you paid. How much was it? 30 bucks right?
“Yeah Tracy 30 bucks, plus I gave her a 10 dollar tip. That makes 40.”
Tracy straightens up a little (actually he looks more sober for a second than I’ve ever seen ) and says “Well, that’s on you”
“What do you mean, “that’s on me”?” I say.
“You didn’t have to do that, a $10 tip,  so that’s on you.”
I cant believe what I’m hearing.
So I say:
‘No, Tracy, I did have to do that. You are one cheap Mother-Fucker”

Do you think he ever made it to that ATM to pay me?


SL said...

To paraphrase W. Dyer, "How Tracy treats other people is his karma, how you reacted, is yours". You are a good man Bullets!

Banquet Manager said...


You have been a master story teller for very long. And a friend as well.
Thank you for your kind plug for my book.

The Banquet Manager

Mother of Invention said...

This is so you! And yes, this story does make you look good! very good, like the person you are. I may even post this if I remember how!
Like RDG, I end up laughing and lol-ing every time I read your posts. I just love your expressions. (MOM!)

bulletholes said...

I tell you how good I been. I hadn't even posted this story to Facebook for all the world to see.

Martijn said...

Finest story I've read all week.