Bulletholes and Bambi

THE POST THAT NEARLY NEVER WAS. 

One of my best chums in junior high was a girl named Bambi. I had a lot of guy friends, but when I think back, I hung out with Bambi a lot.

She was the only kid on the block that would play tackle football with me.
We spent many an afternoon in the woods and fields alongside the neighborhood hunting birds with bows and arrows, and collecting snakes and frogs along the creek.

On really hot days during the summer of 1971, we would play spades in her living room, singing along  to ‘Snoopy vs. The Red Baron” and “Jeremiah was a Bullfrog”.

We would crack each other up as we played cards, practicing doing our “sexy” look which amounted to making funny faces at each other.

Sometimes we would go to her garage and play ping-pong, or to her back porch and shoot some hoops. She always whipped me at horse.
Bambi wasn’t pretty by any stretch, in fact she was pretty athletic for a girl. She was the worlds greatest Tomboy, and she was my best friend for at least a couple years.

We went our separate way about the tenth grade. I discovered pot, and she went to a different High School so she could be on the swim team. I went bad, and Bambi stayed on course.

She got married right after High School, and I was going to go to her wedding, but I got stoned and I missed it.

But a couple years ago, when I got clean, I got to thinking about Bambi, because she was one of those people in your life that was so special that you know you will always like them, and what with the Internet its so easy to find old friends and say “hello” and sometimes it’s a good thing to do, especially after you quit using dope for 35 years.

I couldn’t find Bambi on any internet searches.

But I found her dad, and after a year of thinking about it I finally gave him a call.

It went to his recorder.
“Mr. Bambi, this is Bulletholes~ I grew up on your street and Bambi was my best friend
and I was wondering how to get in touch with her” and I left my phone number.

I was surprised to find that he returned my phone call so quick, and I didn’t get to answer it, it had gone straight to message.

“Sure Bullets, I remember you. Bambi is divorced. Her number is XXX-YYY-XYXY. She has had some surgery and she has Amnandow  disease now”

Now I was really surprised that he just came out and gave me her number. I figured he would forward mine to her, and she could decide whether to call me or not. And it seemed like I needn’t really worry about this Amnandow Disease, whatever it might be, because he didn’t sound like it was a big deal at all.
At least I hoped it wasn’t serious.

So I called Bambi!

I was relieved to find that Bambi doesn’t have Amnandow disease. In fact, there’s no such thing.

She was surprised to hear from me and then told me right up front…
Bambi isn’t Bambi any more.
Bambi is a man now, and his name is Roger. Roger cant afford the operations, but for all practical purposes, Roger is a man.

We talked for an hour, me and Roger, it was like we’d just been down in the creek yesterday, or were about to throw the football a little, just like the old days.

I remember the day 42 years ago Bambi and I went to the local sporting goods store. The man behind the counter had said “How can I help you boys?” and we bought some arrows to shoot birds with. Bambi suffered through it, and laughed it off. It wasn’t the first time she was mistaken for a male. It certainly wasn’t the last.
So, when I find out that Bambi is really Roger its no surprise.
And I promised Roger to keep his anonymity, but the story needs telling.
People would be about as surprised to find that Bambi is a man as they were to find out Steve  is an addict.

That is to say...not at all.

Funny thing Roger told me. It took me a while to wrap my head around it. He said:
“I’ve been a woman married to a man, and now I am a man married to a woman, but I’ve never had a gay experience my whole life”

Addendum: Since Bruce Jenner came out TG, and certain ordinances have been passed,  I'd like to add this about my friend "Roger". Roger coaches little league baseball, owns a company, chews tobacco, spits, and plays Mens Softball. His kids call him dad, his father calls him son, his employees call him sir, and his wife calls him Honey. He uses the restroom correct for his gender, which is male, and he looks good going in wearing his 3 piece suit.
Which restroom would you ask Roger to use?

Addendum #2: Jenner has been awarded various awards for coming out. I have friends that do not recognize the kind of courage that takes, or have any concept how important it is that a celebrity can step forward and carry a torch for a group that has been and will be discriminated against for some time still. Just ask my friend Roger, who I have sworn anonymity to. If Roger were to come out, he could possible lose his business and many of his friends.
And ask yourself if YOU have the courage to step forward the way Jenner has, were you to be in her shoes.