Monday, September 28, 2009

HOW TO CURE A LISP

Do not breath the “Green Gas” that Mel and I used as an initiation rite into our Chemistry Club which also required a $1 non-refundable fee before we administered the gas which would send you to the hospital.
It will not cure your lisp.
It will kill you.

No, to cure your lisp, you will need a live Chicken, a can of Whipped Topping and a Ball Peen Hammer. Take the chicken to a Bingo Parlor and buy six cards. Let the chicken play the cards while you huff the gas in the can of Whip Topping. When your chicken wins the $500 prize( or not, it doesn’t matter, but its nice if she wins) then hit her over the head with the ball peen hammer. On the way home, stop by the store for more Whip Topping to huff while you fry that chicken up for dinner. After dinner, you may still have a lisp, but you won’t be able to feel your mouth, so whats the difference?

15 comments:

kissyface said...

That's some crazy-ass Juju, Steve.

Just say N2O.

How you?

bulletholes said...

N2O!
Damn, you are fast!
I'm good!

Waiter Extraordinaire said...

I am going to write this down and give it to the first person I see with a lisp.

bulletholes said...

Hey Waiter!
I'm going to rewrite it using "th" in place os all the "S's", retitle it "Just Say N2O" per KFC and submit it to the New England Journal of Medicine"

GrizzBabe said...

Cuuuuute.

kissyface said...

Hey Steve -

I can't take credit for that one - it was a T slogan at Dead shows in Oregon in the late 80s. Most everything I write is mine, but occasionally I have to borrow. I kinda thought that one was "known."

Glad yer good!

Citizen H said...

No, to cure your lisp, you will need a live Chicken, a can of Whipped Topping and a Ball Peen Hammer.

That doesn't sound like a cure, it sounds like some serious performance art!

bulletholes said...

KFC, never heard that before. Doesn't matter that its not original when its that well-placed!
I got the whole idea from something Mike said anyway. Can't you tell?

Citizen! Man, long time no see!

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