Saturday, February 21, 2015


I rented a movie last week. The Equalizer, with Denzel Washington. He plays an employee at an Home Improvement store named Rob who also happens to be an ex-CIA agent.
Denzel is always good, right?

It was weird. The producer tried something new I guess. In between all the dialogue, they had a narrator. The narrator would say things like "Rob checks his watch and gets up from his table. The girl at the corner table watches him as he goes to the pay phone. He drops a quarter in the slot" then the narration would end and Rob would be talking on the phone.
"I've done some bad things in my life, Nicolai... Things I'm not proud of. I promised someone I love very much that I would never go back to being that person... But for you, I'll make an exception."

Next, the narrator would say:
"Rob hangs up the phone, leaves a tip at the table and approaches the waitress"
The dialogue between he and the waitress, Teri, would start.
Teri: [about his book] What's your new one about?
Robert McCall: Oh, it's about a guy who thinks he's a knight in shining armor. The only thing is, he lives in a world where knights don't exist anymore.
Teri: Sound like my world.

And the narrator kicks in again, telling the audience that Rob smiles, pats Teri on the arm, walks out the door and down a darkened street with his reflection in the storefront windows revealing him to be deep in thought.

Man, after about 30 minutes ithe constant chatter was totally on my nerves. Driving me nuts.
I thought "If I was at a movie theater, I'd have to leave right now."
After an hour and a half, with 20 minutes left in the movie, I finally figured it out.
Somehow I had activated the feature for the "Vision Impaired".
God, I'm so dumb.

"Rob wipes bloody brains off of the baby sledgehammer he used to bash the side of Nicholai's head in, and returns it to the shelf in aisle 10"

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