AULD LANG SYNE

Back in 1998 I was lucky enough to live in a very bad part of town where Crack and Crack Whores ran rampant.
I never partook of either, but at some point we all became "neighbors"
As I would pull down the gravel alley at 5:30 in the morning on my way to work, there were two girls on the corner that always asked me if I wanted a "date"....cracked me up....and being a bit of a rube, it took me a while to figure out what was going on there.
But before long, as I would pull in at the end of the day, they would all wave at me and I would holler out the window
"Yabba-Dabba-Doo" or
"Honey, I'm home"
or somesuch.
Some times I would go to the corner and talk with them late at night, staying out of sight so as to not drive off any prospects. There were probably 4-6 girls that worked that area at any given time.
One night a guy I knew from High School pulled up.
But thats not what this story is about.

This story is about the very pretty little girl that would work the streets on occasion. She had beautiful soft looking well groomed hair that she would toss about in a very sexy way. She seemed different from the other girls…

One morning in my driveway I was checking my oil. This pretty little girl was passing by and so I said “good morning”.
She stopped and tossed her hair back and shielded her eyes from the sun and says
‘Whatcha’ doin”?
I looked at her as I slid the rag down my dipstick.
“Jus’ checkin’ my oil “I says, and added with a grin “Would you like me to check yours?”
She did’nt miss a beat and fired right back
“Would you like to check my oil?” Smiling, as she tossed that hair around again.

Well, I must have turned about 5 shades of red, because , yes I would have liked to check her oil, but really did not have the guts to go about it. Of course, she already knew all this, but decided to let me off the hook by saying
“You don’t “date” do you?”
“No ma’am I don’t…I’m probably better off all by myself”
“OK” she says, flips her hair back and starts away.

She got a few steps away and I wanted to make sure I had not hurt her feelins’ so I say
‘You are awful pretty though.”

She stopped and turned around and just laughed and said
"And you are awful sweet, and are probably better off all by yourself” as she waved bye.

A few nights later on New Years Eve, my friends Mr. and Mrs. X saw her and they pulled over to the right in their Convertible Ragtopped Corvette. They wanted to know how much she would charge to take on both of them. Just a little curious...
Before you could say “Tit-Bit and Gimme a Dollar” they were surrounded by the Vice squad.
That pretty young whore was a Cop.



HAPPY NEW YEAR!
YA'LL BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!