Wednesday, January 16, 2008

WOMAN, GO AND SIN NO MORE

When I was in the 8th Grade we had a Lay Witness Mission at the Church. On Saturday night at the Youth meeting I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. I was not alone in doing this, as Kandi , Steve, and Nancy were among the many that night having similar experiences. They would come to be among the best friends I ever had and for the next two years some of my fondest memories were made.

I was awkward, I was not cool, I was shy, and like a lot of kids, still looking for a group that would make me feel at home
I was still a few weeks away from being elected President of the Rocket Club and the honor of being “Rocket Renfro”.
I was’nt too sure if I liked Rock and Roll or not.
I was the skinniest knock-kneedest kid to ever drag a Trombone with him everywhere he went. I was on the Football team, but tied for last place with another skinny knock-kneed kid for ability and whatever else it takes to play the game.
I had a crush on the girl that lived across the street, Jeri, and had not a clue as to what to do about it. Sometimes clueless is best.

At the Lay Witness Mission I learned that God loved even awkward me and even more stunning, he loved the Rock and Rollers and the Band people and the 'Ropers and the Jocks and the people who hung out in the restroom smoking cigarettes.
On a folder I carried I put a sticker on it that said
“GOD LOVES ME AND HE LOVES YOU TOO”
and waited , hoping someone would ask me about this so that I could help to spread the good news, and strengthened my Faith through daily fellowship with Kandi and Nancy and Steve.

In Mr. Georges Math Class I got my wish.
My fervent prayer for the opprtunity to Witness was answered.

There was a girl who sat next to me, a bad girl with too much mascara and too much lipstick. She smelled faintly of tobacco. I think her name was Debbie and she wore miniskirts and fishnet hose and high heels. She had long dark hair and hung out with thugs.
One day she saw my sticker and asked if I believed what it said.
This was my big break because not only was I going to spread the GOOD NEWS but I was going to spread the word to someone who so desperately needed it.

I told her that yes I did believe it and that I knew it too be true beyond any doubt.
She said she didn’t think it could possibly be true.
Being young and awkward and shy and somehow very attracted to those fishnet hose I was unable to just come right out and witness.
I needed a little nudge to get me started so I asked why she could not believe that
"God loves me and he loves you too"
I just knew I had the answer as to how God Could love a mascara wearin, tobacco smoking miniskirtin, Rockand Rollin girl like her, because God Loved everyone.
I expected she was about to "open up" to me and confess her sins, all her deepest most Carnal desires, and that i would be able to lead her into self-acceptance.

Instead she looks at me like I am an insect and says
“I can’t believe that God could love a numb-nut knucklehead like YOU!”

I never saw it coming!

I look back and I think this story is hilarious, but when I tell it to a group of Church people, they always look at me with sad and sympathetic eyes and say something like "Oh how horrible for you!"

Maybe I have just gotten to be too cool to know the difference.

FOR GRIZZBABE

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

HEEEHEEEHAW!!! I'm crying-- I'm laughing so much!! I'm sure if I was there w/ the "church people", I would sympathize w/ you, but I'd be laughin' on the inside!!! Munchkin

Mother of Invention said...

And I wonder where that mascara babe is today?
Your heart has always been in the right place.

GEWELS said...

hahaha! I fear that I may have been that girl. Sounds just like something I would have worn. heehee.

Sometimes being clueless is best...
Love you.

bulletholes said...

Munchkin! Lollipop! I wonder if you are still out there sometimes.
Some of these Church people have a funny idea of funny. or maybe its me...I have a funny idea about whats funny.

Mom- my heart? She ripped it out that day! Never saw it comin'.

Gewels- I nearly asked Jeri to go steadywith me one day...you can read it all in my new book.

bulletholes said...

Munchkin! Lollipop! I wonder if you are still out there sometimes.
Some of these Church people have a funny idea of funny. or maybe its me...I have a funny idea about whats funny.

Mom- my heart? She ripped it out that day! Never saw it comin'.

Gewels- I nearly asked Jeri to go steadywith me one day...you can read it all in my new book.

Barbara said...

Getting saved can have its drawbacks. Did you ditch the sticker after this incident?

Mother of Invention said...

Hope we all get signed copies!!!

Annelisa said...

:-D I'm laughin' and a-cryin at the same time!

But, you know what's best about it all? That you can laugh about it. Some folks take themselves so seriously they would probably be repeating the tale to those same churchgoers at the end to extract exactly their reaction... but you're a one-off guy, Steve! And as Gewels says - Love ya!

Thanks for the email today re RDG. I'm very sad about that, but hopefully will manage to keep in touch regardless. I've not been so good at that lately (see my blog) but hopefully will get better again...

Love to ya,

XXX

Old Lady said...

I used to wear fishnets and mini skirts. I wasn't allowed to wear stockings!!!

GrizzBabe said...

I love this story!! And I love the way you tell it! Church people are notorious for not having a since of humor. Had you told this to me on a Sunday morning, I would have been on the floor laughing.

Sorry I didn't come by earlier. The old energy level has been kind of low lately. But I'm on the upswing, so that's good.

And thank you for the dedication! I feel so honored.

bulletholes said...

GRIZZ, i WORKED ON THIS STORY FOR A LONG TIME BUT IT WASN'T UNTIL i SAW YOUR POST ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS AT WORK THAT i FINALLY HAD THE INSPIRATION TO GET IT WRIITEN THE RIGHT WAY.

Anonymous said...

Great Story! Well Written!
Well, Good thing we all grew up!
( or did we?!)
8th grade was brutal, wasn't it-
but our parents kept telling us it was the time of our lives-

look back now and know you have it right

bulletholes said...

Anon...I wouldn't trade this story for...well...maybe I would but its priceless!