Sunday, October 14, 2007


I call the Water Baby every now and then. Not really more than a couple o'few times a week; I don't want her to think that I am trying to be overly attentive, or that I am worried, or that she might not be able to take care of herself.
She has been gone for six weeks now.
The truth is I just want to hear her voice, her laugh, and give her the opportunity to listen to what ever I have to talk about.
Usually, after I have told her that I actually cleaned the kitchen this week, or that I had a flat tire yesterday, or that I saw a cloud that made me think of her, she will explain that she needs to go because they are watching a Movie, or everyone is going to the beach, or its time to go eat breakfast (at 12:30 P.M. in the afternoon! ) and while whatever I have been saying is get the picture.
"Gotta go Dad, bye!"

So I was very excited when the phone rang and it was her calling me!
She wanted to know how I was doing.
I told her that I was fine, but that the kitchen was dirty again.
Real dirty.

And I continued...
"I went to the Homecoming game last week at the High School so I could see your band play...but it wasn't the same without you there and remember how loud I used to be and excited to see you,no, all of ya'll out there and yelling and dancing and generally calling way too much attention to myself?
Well I got up in the stands and sat there and didn't yell or clap or cause any commotion and when they wanted all the old Alumni like me to stand up at halftime I nearly didn't even stand up but the band was good even though I didn't clap and you weren't in it so I left after they played.
I felt all out of sorts.

"Awww...poor Dad"

Now that I have her attention, I continue:
"The next day I saw the nice girl that walks her dogs out in the parking lot while I was gazing at an Annelisa type sunset and she passed by me and I said
"Check it out"
We usually just politely nod;
I pointed to the sunset and she stopped and took a breath and said
"That's gorgeous!"
and smiled at me so I said
"So...Would you like to hold hands"
and she laughed and said
"No one has ever said anything like that to me before!"
So what do you think I said?
Well baby, I could have said something like
"Someone sure ought to be sayin' that to you"
but instead I said
"Well, I guess I had better go clean my Kitchen" and just walked off.
Can you believe that?
How chicken is that?"

So the Water Baby just said "Hmmm..." but she didn't say she had to go somewhere so I continued...

"So I went to a Computer Class and now when I want to print something I won't come out with 100 pages of scrap paper and one page of what I wanted to print."

"Rip has been being good lately except his grades; and he missed his SAT test; and he says Mom is all over him all the time and that your bed is very comfortable and I said if he was going to move in here he was going to have to have better grades and get his stuff for college taken care of so that Mom can RELAX for a minute and other than all that he is doing pretty good"

"I'm thinkin' about maybe buying an Iron so I won't have to press my clothes with a skillet anymore...
"'That'd be good Dad"

"And I'm starting to do more Posts because I don't think I am trying to talk the way I blog, or try out a post while I am in line at the Grocery Store like I'm Drew Carey;
or use big words that I'm not too sure what they mean, and act like I'm some kind of George Will Jr. and quote Proust and stuff...

And I'm looking out the window Baby, and it looks like they mowed today and ....
WOW!!! There a really pretty bird in the Crepe Myrtle out there...with feathers..."

I started to describe this pretty bird when I suddenly realized that she had not told me yet she had to go somewhere so I stopped talking about the damn bird and said..
"Are you OK Baby?"
There were a few seconds of silence and then she broke into tears and said
"D-d-d-addy, I-I am s-so homesick!"
And she was sniffing and whimpering and I knew her nose was kind of running and she was going to run out of breath...

So I said:
"Thats Ok Baby because... we were all starting to think you... just didn't give a Shit!!!"
And I gave my little nervous laugh hoping that might help.
It did.
She laughed and I laughed and she's coming home for the weekend in two weeks.

And I told her to call her Mother right away because she would be so glad to know her girl is homesick too.
They talked for an hour.


Barbara said...

Aren't kids funny? One minute you think they hate you and the next minute they can't wait to come home. I guess there is always a piece of "kid" in all of us, one that would like to be homesick and have a shoulder to cry on. Keep talking...

Dave Mows Grass said...

Try asperin. They had a guest on the Leafs Lunch radio show that I listen to who was reminiscing about his days as a midget hockey coach. He had coached Clint Malarchuk's team when they were all about 12 or 13 years old. During a long road trip, Malarchuk started complaining that he was homesick so they gave him a "homesickness pill." It was an asperin. Fixed him right up!

As for the big words that you don't really know what they mean, well, do what you want to but I'm going to continue to fire them out recklessly in every direction. You do take a risk, though. You risk sounding like a real ass. I used the word gratuitous incorrectly for years before a very smart friend of mine gave me a strange look. His look was saying, "You ought to look that one up, Bub!" I did, and I was very embarrassed. I also used the word Byzantine incorrectly. I think I usually got away with that one but I was still very embarrassed when I stumbled upon the real meaning on my own. Hey, that's the risk you take for not sounding like everyone else in the smoke shack!

Mother of Invention said...

Aw! You got me all choked up, it was so sweet and natural. It made me wonder if my parents ever felt like you did when they begged me to call...even COLLECT and I didn't call nearly often enough.
Could you go visit her very easily? How far is it?

I hope you have a great visit in 2 weeks!

GEWELS said...

I would be homesick if I were away from you too.
Heck...I'm already homesick and I've never even lived with you.
Besides, I miss you when you don't blog for a few I can imagine how Waterbaby feels.
And no, none of those last statements were!

GrizzBabe said...

Awwwww. You do tell the bestest stories, Steve.

I hope you and Water Baby have a grand ol' time when she comes to visit.

kissyface said...

hat made me tear up. you're a good Dad.