Saturday, December 31, 2011

JUST CHECKIN' THE OIL

A BULLETHOLES NEW YEARS EVE REDUX


Back in 1999 I was lucky enough to live in a very bad part of town.
As I would pull down the gravel alley at 5:30 in the morning on my way to work, there were two girls on the corner that always asked me if I wanted a "date". Being a bit of a rube, it took me a while to figure out what was going on there.
But before long, as they would wave and smile at me, I would holler out the window:
"Hellllloooo Ladies!", "Yabba-Dabba-Doo!" or "Honey, I'm home!"

And these girls would all laugh and wave because, well, I am a funny guy, even to a whore.

Some times I would go to the corner and talk with them late at night, staying out of sight so as to not drive off any Johns. There were probably 3 or 4 girls that worked that area at any given time.
One night a guy I knew from High School pulled up.
Boy-howdy, was he surprised to see me!
But thats not what this story is about.

This story is about the very pretty little whore that would work the streets on occasion. She had beautiful, soft looking, well groomed hair that she would toss about in a very sexy way. She seemed different from the other girls…very different. She was pretty and clean and wasn't all schitzed out, mumbling to herself, or pacing back and forth incessantly.
I figured she was a "Part-Timer"; a bored housewife that came out on occasion for a little taste of life on the edge.

One morning in my driveway I was checking the oil in my truck. This pretty little whore was passing by and so I says to her:
“Good morning!” all bright and cheery, because really, I had been dying to say something to this pretty little whore.
She stopped and tossed her sexy hair back and shielded her eyes from the sun and says to me:
‘Whatcha’ doin'?”
I looked at her as I slid the rag slowly down my dipstick.
“Jus’ checkin’ my oil “ I says, and added with a grin “Would you like me to check YOUR oil?”
She didn’t miss a beat and fired right back:
“Would YOU like to check my oil?”

She was smiling pretty as she tossed that sexy hair around again.
I must have turned about 5 shades of red, because, yes, I would have liked to check her oil, but I really did not have the guts to go about it.
She knew it and decided to let me off the hook.
“You don’t “date” do you?” she says
It was less a question, and more of a statement spoken as a matter of fact.
“No ma’am, I don’t…I’m probably better off all by myself”.
“OK” she says, flips her hair back and starts away.
It may sound silly, but I had some notion that maybe I had hurt her feelings.
"You sure are pretty though.” I says
She stopped and turned around and just laughed and flashed a big pretty smile at me, and said
"And you are awful sweet, and are probably better off all by yourself” and she  tossed all that sexy hair as she turned away while waving good-bye. She had let me off the hook again. And I watched as she shook her pretty little ass down the street, thinking I had missed my chance.

                 **********************
A few nights later on New Years Eve, a happy married couple I know saw her and they pulled over to the right in their Convertible Rag-topped Corvette. It was nice out, and they had the top down. They wanted to know how much she would charge to take on the both of them!
Just a little curious, they were... just wanted to see what it might cost for a little taste of life on the edge.

Before you could say “Tit-Bit and Gimme a Dollar” they were surrounded by the Vice Squad.
They were arrested and spent New Years Eve in Jail.
Yep. You see…
That pretty young whore was a Cop.



HAPPY NEW YEAR!

YA'LL BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!

7 comments:

x said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
red dirt girl said...

Happy New Year, cowboy! I'm trying to live life far enough away from the edge. It tends to erode very quickly. Middle ground is good enough for me.

love ya!
xxx

Anonymous said...

That was a good story!

red dirt girl said...

I'm posting a great image to go with your story for new year's. Thanks for all the smiles and giggles.

xxx

icyhighs said...

A cop eh? And I was feeling all smart thinking I had it all figured out - I thought the girl was a ladyboy for some reason.

bulletholes said...

A ladyboy. It happens all the time I bet!
Happy new year all!

bulletholes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.