Friday, July 31, 2015


One night at about 2 am a bunch of us were partying, just like usual. Suddenly the front door bursts open, and its some wild eyed dude, and in one hand he’s got a handful of some slutty looking chicks hair, and in the other hand he’s got a pistol. Big silver revolver with ivory handles. He's waving it around while he's swinging this chick around by the hair.
“Where the fuck is JoJo!” he hollers out.
JoJo was one of the people that lived there, but  he was was not present at the moment. Jojo’s roommate steps forward, her name is Velvet.
“What are doing bursting into my house?’ she demands
“JoJo  has been fucking my wife here!” and he jostles the slut around by the hair a little, and waves the gun some more.
Man, I’m sitting on the couch, and I just want out of there, ya know?
Well, Velvet, all this does is piss her off.
She stomps right up to him, grabs him by the arm, says “I told you JOJO aint here, now get the fuck out of my house” and tosses the guy out by his ear and closes the door behind her.
Man, we all just looked at her like she was some kind of badass, ya know?
And someone asks her ‘Velvet, weren’t you afraid of his gun?”
Velvet gets this funny look on her face and says:

She never saw it. I think about that every time I have occasion (which has been a lot lately) to say “I’ve never been in a situation that would not have been made worse with the introduction of a gun.”

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