SOME GIRLS

I knew one that liked to go to tanning salons. She had a beautiful tan, and she told me that she didn’t have any tan lines, because that’s the way she tanned, presumably naked. I knew her for years, and she rebuffed all my advances. In fact, I never knew her to have a boyfriend or to go on a date.
But she had a beautiful tan, and one day when she mentioned she had been ‘tanning” I just had to ask:
“What good is a tan if you aren’t going to let anyone fuck you?”

I was at a friend’s house last week, and met their cousin. 
She wears a big diamond engagement ring on her finger to "keep horny men away", she proudly says.
I told her I hadn't even noticed, I was too busy looking at her ass.