Sunday, May 20, 2007

DOCTOR DEATH

Several questions were raised yeasterday about how thrilled I will be to go to the Dentist. I assure you I will be Drilled.
Willin' Drillin' and Chillin' because I love my Dentist.
He is almost as funny as I am and we always have a real good time.
I'll never forget the day he tried to do a little work on me without the shot and things were doing nicely until he hit a sweet spot and the first thing I did was to use my tongue to try to stop the Drill, which worked real good except now the Drill was lodged into my Tongue and we were both crackin up.
Speaking with my mouth wide open, and a bit "Tongue Tied" I said "Wud-doo-e-do-ow-dog" which when translated means 'What do we do now doc?" and he grinned down at me.
I squinted up into that very bright light that halo'd his face and was told that he would have to
"Put the drill in reverse to get it unstuck from my tongue"
Well, that just about did it for me . I could not stop laughin' right up to the part where he put the Drill in reverse and backed it from my tongue.
After that I always called him 'Dr. Death" and insisted on the shot of Novacaine.

Still , he is a very good Dentist, and explains to me everything he is doing to the Point that I think if he needed a little work done, I could probably fix him up.

20 years ago he told me I had terrible teeth... "Soft" he called them and everytime I went to see him he would wonder how I had any left and I would tell him I keep a toothbrush in every room and sometimes floss for an hour.
But when he see's my mouth next, he is going to find a real mess, as I have lost several teeth (in back ladies, dont worry) and the root is still in there due to me having a real high tolerence for pain. I'm sure that this will require some kind of Surgery to fix and that left in its present state could probably kill me.

The shame of it is that anytime over the last 10 years I could have called him and he would have fixed me I'm sure, but sometimes you feel that you can't ask nobody no more for no favor.

11 comments:

GEWELS said...

After he gets you back in his chair he is gonna WISH you had begged him for favors, I'm sure.
Yikes! I can't believe you laughed so much.

Mother of Invention said...

The Dental situation in which you find yourself is not one where the slogan, "Say No To Drugs" applies!

Hokey Man, I'd love to hear you under Laughing Gas!!! Ask for it and make a tape and then upload it here!!

So when's your appt?

Barbara said...

I too have lousy teeth. At the age of 6 I bit a dentist as he was trying to give me a shot of novacaine, he slapped me, and my mother hauled me out of there. I have never bit another dentist, but I have also never had one of those visits where they tell you how great your teeth are and what a good job you do flossing. In fact I've never gotten over a C+ at the dentist's.

I will think of you as you prepare to undo 11 years of neglect. Just go read that chapter in "A Million Little Pieces" and you will appreciate the fact that you can have novacaine!

Akelamalu said...

og nng da mu ah rary urr!

(Oh no that must have really hurt!)

Mother Hen said...

That's what I like about hen's teeth, they are rare! Snork!

Hey, who's the new chick?

steve said...

I am getting to where I really suck at responding to ya'lls comments.... if you only knew how much they all mean to me.
Gewels- i laugh althe time!
Mom- Gaughin' Las? Where can I get some o' dat? i might die laughin!
Barbara-Thats a great idea, biting your Dentist... I can't wait to bite Dr. DSeath...we'll see about "soft teeth"!
Malu- you speak the language....try this, that he told his attendant one time and I repeated it back in feigned horror...
"an ee at ig ack ook"
OK- you need more than thaT...THE FIRST WORD IS "hAND" AND THE LAST ONE IS "hOOK"
mother hen- I'll bet he would work on you too if you are not to Chicken.

Akelamalu said...

Hand me that big black hook?

Aaarrrghhh!

steve said...

You are good at this!
My eyes were like saucers!
Dr. Death , i tell ya!

Akelamalu said...

You can tell I spend more than enough time at the dentist can't you?!

GrizzBabe said...

That drill story is so not funny. I think I might have nightmares tonight.

steve said...

Griz- You are such a wienie.