Friday, May 25, 2007

104th Dream...Lights?


I have an interview for a Chefs Position...I am being interviewed by a very matter-of-fact sounding fellow. He has been the Chef de Cuisine for some time, but is going to be an owner now. I am to run the operation for him, and should not expect to see him.
In fact, the interview is being done over the telephone.

I tell him all that I have done.
Washing dishes at Red Lobster for my first job.
Working as Broiler Cook for Bonanza when I was 17 and just knew I knew more than Bullwinkle, my nickname for the Manager.
Busboy and Barback at a Ramada Inn where I met Junior Love Goddesses...Barmaids with Fishnet Stockings and Miniskirts and Chemises and stuff..
From busboy to a Executive Chef in two years at a pretty nice restaurant. Started there the day after I left Senior High. I didn't really even know how to cook.
Learning to cook at a 5-Star Hotel...
then to Country Clubs and back to Hotels.

I explain to him that I think setting standards and training and people... are more important than the business itself.
He asks if I am one of these guys that is "Overqualified".
Thats what they say about people that do not really want to do any work anymore.
I tell him if he wants to he can call around and ask about me.
"They will tell you that I am pretty Muley"

So he asks if I am one of these guys that has to have everything just so in order to do my job, that I need a perfect environment to perform.
I have to laugh.
"Perfect? There is no "perfect"...every operation has its obstacles and deficiencies; you have to be able to adapt and improvise all the time."

He wants me there at 8:00 the next morning where "Dan-O" the helper will show me around.
Duly arrived the next morning, Dan-O and I commence to firing ovens and lighting burners.
Its very dark in this kitchen, the only light coming from the burners and when you open a Cooler.
"Where are the light switches, Dan-O"
"Light switches?"
"Yeah, lights, ya know."
He just grins at me.
Just then a phone rings on the wall right beside me.
I pick it up..its the Old Chef.
"How's it goin'?' he asks.
"Ok, pretty good boss, but I hate to ask... where are the lights in this place?"
Over the phone he says in this surprised and disdainful voice:

"Lights? What? You need Lights?"

I woke up... laughin' like a maniac.
And when I tell people about it I am laughin so hard I can hardly talk.
I know its not that funny to anyone but me.
It reminds me of the beans.


Akelamalu said...

Phew, I bet you're glad you woke up before you burnt your fingers in the dark eh?

goatman said...

Hey . . . are you sure this isn't Poe Ballantine?

Barbara said...

I love your chef dreams. The beans one was pretty good, but this one is even better. You had me going there at first. I thought you were interviewing to be a chef once again!

GrizzBabe said...

Even your dreams are funny!

Mother of Invention said...

You could do a short film on these Chef stories! (Starring Mr. Bean! HA!)I love'em even if they are dreams or embellished or whatever.
Do you ever really want to go back to it?

kissyface said...

I think it's about your "divine spark," and it is funny! hey good lookin', what cha got cookin'?

sister heels said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Annelisa said...

Ha ha! Who needs light anyway, when they're as bright as you! :-D