D-I-V-O-R-C-E

Phone rings...I pick it up...
"Hello"
"Hi"
'Whats goin' on"
'Not much...do you know what today is?"
"Um....well...lets see, day after the 4th? Bastille Day?...No, I don't guess I know what today is"
Its the X-Mrs bulletholes and she says
'We got our Divorce 9 Years ago" and she just laughs...
So I say 'You better be calling to ask me for dinner then"
"In your dreams" she says and and hangs up.

 I remember the day almost 10 years ago she brought the Divorce papers for me to sign.
I glanced at them and tossed them aside saying "I'll take a look at 'em whenever"
"No" she says "You'll sign them now, I want to take them straight to the Lawyer"
'Hahahaha" I laugh 'These are legal Documents and I need to read them over before I sign"
"Like hell you do, you know what they say" and she hands them back to me.
Well, she is right, I know whats in them and she is not asking for much of anything. In fact, the child support she wants is less than what the State would mandate. But I'll be damned if she is going to waltz in here and demand that I sign right now.
I really don't want any part of it, this divorce.
So I argue. As we argue I roll the papers up, and I'm nervously tapping my leg with them. The argument becomes more animated. Its reached the boiling point and out of exasperation, anger or stupidity, I take the rolled up papers and whack her over the head with them.
Her eyes get like saucers, and she runs out of the house screaming bloody murder, to the car. I'm thinkin' she might call the cops. I grab a pen and chase after her. She is in the car, the engine is revving. I step in front of the car and she looks like she just might run me over. No, she is going to run me over in the next several seconds
"You better get your ass outta the way, mister"
I hold up the papers and the pen....'OK, you win, I'll sign"
She stops red-lining the motor. I go over to the roof of the car and sign the papers and hand them through the window. She manages a thin grin and says
"Thank you sooo much, Now get the hell out of the way"
Burning rubber all the way out the driveway.
 Quick as I could, I packed up the Van and headed for the lake for two days of Camping...I knew she'd be back...I missed signing the last page! OOPS!