Wednesday, August 17, 2016



Hi Ellen!

I am new to this. Like 10 days new. I did get a bogus looking message that asked me to email them because they were shutting down their account. Looking at the text, they didn’t claim to be a Nigerian Princess, but the whole thing kinda stank, ya know?
So I didn’t respond. What’s weird is they weren’t all that stunning as far as looks go. You’d think they would use more attractive bait.

I get a lot of identical two word messages: “Hello There”.
I get enough of them that it creeps me out a little. I think I wrote a story one time that started out “I haven't tried internet dating. I've got my hands full just flirting with every girl I run into on the street”.
But that hasn’t worked out so well, Ellen, so here I am.

How to be original? Well, I actually met a girl the first day I was on POF. We had dinner, and talked for two hours. I sent her a message later, and she said I was a dork. And she said to stay that way, because I was a “cute dork”.
I think that was her way of telling me “Thanks, but no thanks”lol
So I looked up Dork. One definition is “a dull, slow-witted, or socially inept person”. That’s not me.
The other is
“Someone who has odd interests, sometimes silly, and can be themselves without being afraid what other people think.”
That’s me Ellen!

I see you are the Class Clown! When I was in the 5th grade the teacher sent a note home with me saying “Steve tries to be the Class Clown”. “Tries”? It cut me to the quick, and I never liked her much after that.
But it did motivate me to try to achieve my greatest goals which are to make the world a funnier place and to die laughing. I am not a stand up comic, but I seem to be able to find some humor in anything and have a knack for never speaking too seriously for too long about serious matters.

This cloudy cool day would be perfect for any of the three things I used to be very passionate about: Fishing, Golf and Gardening.
Do you golf much? I used to be so addicted to it I would call golf courses during tornado watches and pouring down rain to find out if they were open. I’m not sure I would ever take up golf again.
What about fishing? I could see fishing again. I went a couple times last year with my son (he’s 26) but I used to fish a lot. Like every week I would go. Camping 3 times a year too. But life happens, and things get left behind.
Now gardening, that’s something I still do on a small scale. I don’t have a yard anymore, but I got a nice little plot outside my apartment. Tomatoes and basil, lots of basil, the maintenance crew helps me keep it picked which just makes it grow more, and I have rosemary too, and come September I’ll replace the tomatoes with sugar snaps that will be ready t pick by Christmas. I used to have a green thumb they say. 

Still do, I say.

I've probaly had every hobby known to man at some point. The last few years my biggest hobby has been writing. That’s why this message is probably way longer than it should be (sorry). I like to write, and I write like I talk, and I like to talk, and sometimes I dance like no one is looking. It wasn’t so much the fact that you had a guitar that attracted me. It was the way that you HELD the guitar, with the fingers, and the mischievous  look on your face. Then I read your profile, and as you hoped, the humor came shining through.
And you have a very nice smile.

Love, Bulletholes


flask said...

bulletholes, i would probably date you.

you seem kinda awesome to me.

good luck with that ellen girl.

Bulletholes said...

Hey Flask, if I ever get up that way I'll be looking for you. I traded a few more messages with ehr, and kinda lost interest. She never did answer my questions. I don't ask questions just to hear myself talk. Its kind of amazing, how hard it can be to extract information from these girls.
Thanks for stopping by!