THE DWEEB

I went to dinner with my beachcombing friend last night. She said she joined Match.Com.
“Its like a full time job. I got 100 messages a few days ago. I narrowed it down to one guy, and met him for a drink. He didn’t look anything like his profile. But in his profile he had on a hat and sunglasses so it was hard to tell. Really, he was a DWEEB. Just a dweeb. Why do people do that, with the hat and sunglasses? He kept saying “We’ll have to do this again”.

“We’ll have to do this again” he kept saying.

So we exchanged numbers."

I’ll tell you a little about her. She is a petite girl. She probably weighs about 100 pounds soaking wet with her clothes on. Curvy she is not. She had a breast job many years ago which she is proud of, and likes to go to nude beaches in warmer climes. She has a pixie face and is cute as can be. Her mouth is sexy as hell, like Michele Pfieffer. She does hair at an upscale salon. She is very stylish, has blonde hair with a few small streaks of blue just for fun.  

She tells me she gets to her car and the dweeb has sent her a message.
The same guy that minutes before was saying “We’ll have to do this again”.

His message says “I said we should get together again but I saw you when you walked away and you are just too skinny for me so I dont think so.”

“It was like a dagger to my heart” she says “A total dweeb was telling me I was too skinny my first time out on Match.com”

I tried to be sympathetic.

“Can I tell you the truth?” I said.

“Sure”

“The hottest sex I ever had was with a girl built just like you, only her breasts werent as nice.”
“Don't tell me that”
“No, really its true. Just like you. We had two bottles of wine, she tied me to the bed and for 8 hours it was pretty amazing.”

I’m not sure if she heard this last part because she had her hands over her ears and going “La-la-la-la-la”
I just couldn’t stop laughing. 

I hope it made her feel better.