Thursday, August 25, 2016

PLENTY OF FISH: EPISODE ONE

"THE DORK"

My first day on the dating website "Plenty of Fish, I traded messages with a dog lover. On the fourth message I just went ahead and hung it out there.
“So what are you doing for supper? Ya wanna meet up someplace, have supper, something easy and lite?”
She said yes. She said she had been on this dating site for three months and it was the first time a guy asked to meet up, because all the guys on the site are lame.

She wasn’t bad looking. She had a nice smile. And her hair was thick and luxurious.
So I meet her. We have dinner. She laughs at my stories, chews her food with her mouth shut, doesn’t go on about Donald Trump or how the government is sitting on a formula to turn water into fuel. In other words, she’s OK. She might not be dance partner material, but she is nice to talk to.

So I get home, send her a thank you note. She replies back:
“You are a dork. But you are a cute dork. Don’t change.”
So I look up dork. It says I’m a guy that is not afraid to be who I am. That I don’t worry about what people think about me, have odd interests, and is silly sometimes.
Well, that’s close enough. Except I have learned that what people think about me IS important. That helps keep this dork from being a total asshole.
And its not like she called me a DWEEB.


A few days go by. Its Thursday evening, time to eat. I send Dog lover a message:
“Hey, ya wanna go get a pizza? I know a great dive up on Grapevine Highway!”
The reply comes back, almost instantaneous:
“You know we have no chemistry, right”
Hahaha. That’s telling it plain I guess. My reply?
“Right. No chemistry. So ya wanna go have a pizza?”

But here is what I’ve noticed. Everybody has their antennae up for “Chemistry”. If you are so honed in on chemistry, I think you might miss out on something bigger.
Just being a friend and going for pizza.
I can’t remember a single time I met a girl, felt chemistry, did a triple back flip back to her place and had tantric sex.

I waited five minutes for a reply, and decided on chicken livers from Lisa’s Chicken instead.
Because I don’t give a fuck what anybody thinks; I like chicken livers.

2 comments:

flask said...

bulletholes, never change.

you are awesome.

bulletholes said...

Hi flask! I don’t know if you see my replies to you or not. Thanks for visiting. Sometimes when I go back to one like this, to see your comment, I have an epiphany.
I worked for a chef one time that used to say that in the kitchen, we weren’t there just to learn how to cook.
I’m starting to think that on POF we aren’t there just to find a girl or a boy.