Monday, November 21, 2011

NO SPECIAL GIFTS THAT PLUG IN

Every year, a few days after Christmas when the Blues are over and I realize what a jackass I have been for not having found my Christmas Spirit until like January 3rd, and having blown yet another opportunity to have had some special kind of holiday that always eludes me, I tell myself that next year will be different. That next year I will start early and find at least one special present for someone, and I will feel good, and all jingly, and I won't have to wind up running though Wal-Mart like George Bailey in Pottersville trying to figure out how the world got all upside down, and getting punched by my kids teacher's husband (the only guy in town that seems to know anything about me) in housewares, where I could never find anything special for anyone there anyway, not if I looked all year.
But there I will likely be, a mere 36 hours before Christmas Eve,  once again looking a trip to Wal-Mart in the face, its ugly big-boxed storefront font and ubiquitous selection of House slippers and Summer Sausages in Holiday tins; Hardware's and Heirloom collections of cheap China made in Korea; the electronics are nice, priced to sell, but there is one thing I know for sure
There are no special gifts that plug in.
There shall be no comfort or joy anywhere at any Wal-Mart location.
You know, you'd think a creative guy like me could come up with one single lousy special Christmas present for someone somewhere.
But I can't.
Never could. I only bought one decent gift my whole life and that was a Cuckoo Clock for my cousin and her husband Jimmy. When they divorced they fought like cats and dogs over it.
I think he got it and no one has heard from him in thirty-five years

So I guess the best I can do right now is go for a pre-emptive strike and to wish you all a merry-merry, and thank you for the many kind comments and attentions you have paid to me this year, and hope that when you check your pockets Black Friday you find your very own Zu-Zu's petals, and have many pleasant memories, and confetti.

6 comments:

littlebow said...

Your words and thoughts on this blog are a great gift to lots of readers everyday. you should just write some great christmas cards, with thoughts and poems inside. forget walmart. go to the pub on xmas eve.

bulletholes said...

Hi littlebow! Thanks for your kind wotrds. I tried to leave you a comment a few days ago, but for some reason I cant. See if you can set your account to accept Anon's and Open ID's...for some reason i have trouble commenting on some blogs sometimes. AnitaNH is another one I have trouble at.

littlebow said...

Hi BH all fixed I think, sorry im new to this techy stuff.

Amish Stories said...

I'm visiting new blogs today for the first time, so i also thought id wish you a Happy Thanksgiving to you and your readers. And i hope that the day is spent generating positive memories for years to come. Richard from Amish Stories.

red dirt girl said...

Hey Cowboy,

I'm with you on the gift buying etc...Now that I'm working retail (yes, I'll be up bright and early on black friday, with my christmas cheer on) the last place I want to be on my days off is at the mall or Wal-mart or any large shopping center.

But I think you missed something over there in housewares:

http://lolasloves08.blogspot.com/2011/09/shopping-at-walmart.html

(sorry don't know how to type in a link in comments)

Merry merry to you and yours. Just knowing you is a gift to me. Reading your posts are the pretty wrappings and bows!

love ya,
xxx

AnitaNH said...

Honey, my middle name is Trouble.

Happy holidays, Steve!