Tuesday, December 27, 2011

ALL DOGS POOP OUTSIDE, NO EXCEPTIONS

Christmas.
At the Ex-Mrs. Bulletholes.
With my sister there. My sister is just so weird.
She has a Chihuahua dog, with the fancy ears. They call them "Papillions" or something. The dog is as weird as my sister. She treats the dog like an incontinent human invalid. She has those hospital bed pads for the dog to go poop on.  When the dog looked like it might poop, she wanted to put one of the pads on the floor in the kitchen instead of letting my daughter, you know, take the dog outside. But the Ex-Mrs Bulletholes said "no dice" to that. She explained the dog would not be pooping in her kitchen, right next to the buffet table, or anywhere else in the house for that matter.. It took a while for that to sink in with my sister, in fact it blew her mind a little, but there is nothing as unwavering as X Mrs Bulletholes when she has made up her mind.

Of course, weirdness is not out of my domain either. There was a young lady there, of Oriental descent. I guessed her age as being between 8 and 17. Those Orientals are timeless you know. Anyway, I was really leaning towards her being about 14 so I went ahead and just asked:
"How old are you, sweetie?"
It was one of those questions that you don't know its rude until you see the look on the other persons face, and realise that they are aware that they look like a child, but are in fact a full grown woman. I never would have imagined her to be in her late 20's and attending graduate school.. Next time I run into a situation like this, I will save myself the embarrassment and just ask if she is in High School yet.

Then everyone was reminded of the axe I gave my son for Christmas...back when he was 6 years old.
I did better this year I think. I stuck to shirts and jewelry and stuff.
I'm really glad its over.

2 comments:

red dirt girl said...

I swear cowboy, your real life is funnier and stranger than anything one could make up! Glad you survived in one piece.

xxx

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