Thursday, January 04, 2007

SNAP YOUR FINGERS SAY YEAH

MY DAUGHTER, Aubree’, wrote this and it appears in the 2006 American Library of Poetry, titled “Excellence”, a yearly publication of young writers works starting in the Third Grade.

Rath Roiben Raye

With your hair of Silver and eyes of Gray
Daunt me not and woo me sweetly
For though you be my foe, I love you discreetly
Of different Clans we are destined to be
But into your eyes I wish to see
The flesh of the fruit, so juicy and red
Would be as my heart as it over you bled
The war of our people, o’er freedom and life
Causes great devastation, causes much strife
An arrow of thorns that is lodged in your heart
Is all that prevents us from being apart

Aubree' loves language so much that she is making Irish and Celt her Senior Project. Part of the project, as I understand it, is to speak the Language in a Fundamental way, key words and phrases, as well as having an understanding of its history and roots.
There is a lot of genius and history [ see http://beautifulcandy.blogspot.com/2006/12/terrible-beauty-is-born.html that goes into writing good verse...I like Yeats a lot, though he is really too smart for me. Walt Whitman too.
I am not sure that there is anything that affects me the way that Edgar Allen Poe’s work “The Raven” does. Especially when read by someone like Garrison Keillor.

I found this as well in “Excellence, written by a Ninth Grader.

Crows and Ravens
By Angelina Waller

Crows clothing in a willow tree
Black feathers flow like silk in the breeze
A song of betrayal they sing
Either resting or flying
Ravens come, on the wing
Harkening sorrow as they sing
Now they blanket a walnut tree
A black sheet of misery
Crows and ravens of depression
Willows and walnuts of sadness
Now comes the rain, weeping for all


Listen...
“Now they blanket a walnut tree
A black sheet of misery”
That’s nice. The former clothing is now blankets and sheets.
And theres some good form where she opens with a willow tree in line 1 and finishes with “weeping” in the last line.

Sometimes a poem can have a deep and precise meaning
A lesson, a gleaning, advice to keep in mind.
Some verses merely flirt with reason,
Skirting,singing, measured by
No meter, no time,
Nor words that rhyme



My Dad enjoyed poetry too. He wrote one that went:

Haley was a Chemist
Haley is no more
What he thought was H`2O
Was H`2SO`4

12 comments:

David said...

hey Steve,

Your daughter is really a talented poet. Given your dad's affinity as well, how about you?


(I once won a limerick contest in the 5th grade, but of course can't recall it)

Dave said...

I'll believe that Grandad was the one who came up with the sulfuric acid thing if you'll believe that it was your brother who came up with the "red and yella kill a fella" bit.

Aubree' must learn to play the pipes and sing the canntaireachd. Gaelic song cannot be separated from the sound of the chanter. Those blends of sounds do not occur anywhere else in music. Great stuff!

kissyface said...

this line is devastating in eloquence and sentiment:
"For though you be my foe, I love you discreetly"

wow. that is the essential ethos to end all wars. that seems to me the fundamental whatness of christianity, and beautifully so.

i wish more people would embrace it.

pray for your loved ones, pray harder for your enemies.

thanks for sharing your daughter's gift (and your father's).
and, as per usual, thanks for the plug.

steve said...

David, see paragraph 6 for my poem. You know that the name Aubree' refers to the "Leader of the Elves". She is enchanted, i believe.
KF; Aubree' will be delighted with your comment. she thinks a lot of you. The Poem was inspired by a book called "Tithe".

Anonymous said...

Yes, and she is very proud of her name!

Rod's Duck Farm said...

Yup, that Aubree, now she's got the curse of verse ... herds the words.
But inspired by a book called "Tithe" ? I am just now realizing that "tithe" is two words!
My Dad's uncle wrote a tune:
Was my great-great-great grandpappy a monkey?
Did he stay up late at night when he got spunky?
Did he swing from tree to tree?
I think that it must be,
That he did cause all the monkey in me!
Quack, Quack!

GrizzBabe said...

Very talented daughter you have! And I can tell you are a very proud father. You should be. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Mother of Invention said...

I love all 3! Your dad's is quick and clever! Aubrey's shows depth and clarity in her observation of life and how she relates to it personally. (A great strength in writng)Poetry must be genetic...Thanks for that!
My dad wrote a lot too.

steve said...

Thank you all very much, I enjoy writing and try my hardest and do my best. There are a couple of posts my dad has asked me to write for him, but, since I haven't exactly been timely on that, I figure I'll go ahead and post on my own blog, seems like fun! The World Exploded Last Thursday is where I put stuff my dad wants me to write.

Old Lady said...

I certainly enjoyed all of this! It is so nice to feel your pride in your daughter's talents and to see you support her endeavors so positively.

Annelisa said...

Your daughter's writing is amazing, Steve - I'm so very impressed! I've just been round her place, and she has another great poem on Tiny Little Pieces - I would say she's going to be a great writer, but that would be an understatement... She already is a 'great' writer! What more will she become...?

By the way, which one was paragraph 6? Working through, I make it the one that starts "I found this as well in Excellence...", but I don't reckon that can be right :-D

Barbara said...

There is nothing like poetry to make you think! I sometimes wonder if it isn't harder to write a good poem than it is to write an entire book. Looks like your daughter is off to a good start.

I want to hear more about your dad!