Friday, January 26, 2007

WE HAVE 4 GALLONS OF MILK AND I'VE ORDERED A COW

I got to foolin' around with my "Got Milk" post and managed to lose the bottom portion. Lucky for me I had a copy...so this is continued from the previous... and then we will have talk about Arnold...


I tell ExMrsBulletholes that we are doing well, but the child does miss her Momma.

"I miss her too" ExMrsBulletholes says over the phone "Are you taking good care of her?"

"Oh, yeah, we are fine. We had rice with peas and some Broiled Chicken last night."

"She ate peas? She never ate MY Peas"

"Well I always told you to get the Frozen, not the canned" and I laugh, hoping to keep this from getting too intense.


"Do you have milk?" she asks "You must have milk for her... always" "And toilet Paper, you cannot run out of toilet paper…" She is gettin' a little wound up.

"Yup, we got both of those" I try to assure her.

"Do you have enough? You know she will need more than you do..."

"How long will 48 Rolls last?" I ask.

"You have 48 Rolls of Tissue?"

"Yes, we sure do. Got the really good kind. Spared no expense"

There's silence on the line now. I'm looking like father of the Year. I have her almost at bay and add that:

"I pamper her, everyday I pamper her"

"Pamper, you say?"

"Yes ma'am, pamper I say! I do her Laundry, I serve her whatever she wants from a tray, I do all the Cleaning, and whatsoever she may desire, I fetch right away!"


There is another bit of silence. Its that really loud silence too.. and I realize that I have laid it on a little too thick...my arrogance will cost me...


"YOU NEVER PAMPERED ME!"


The XMrsBulletholes. She got me, but I'm not going down easy…in my most confident matter of fact voice I counter with;

"OH YEAH, YOU WERE PAMPERED ALLRIGHT"

We are both giggling a little now, for different reasons, and for the same reasons, and its nice that we can be easy.

"HOW" she says "HOW DID YOU PAMPER ME? HMM?"


"YOU WERE PAMPERED, I PAMPERED YOU ALL THE TIME"


"HOW? WHAT DID YOU DO TO PAMPER ME?"


Another long pause…there must be something I did to Pamper her...theres got to be...

"Remember how I used to shine your shoes, Baby.?"

Pretty weak, I can't believe I even tried that.

A slight pause and she says:


"That’s OK, Jeff (her hubby) doesn’t know how to pamper me either…

and don't call me "baby"!!!


And we just laugh!


She's OK, that XMrs. Bulletholes!!!

I have to say she got me this time.

She will move the Heavens and Earth for her kids...

5 comments:

David said...

sounds like you're a pretty darn good dad! great dialogue - how do you remember it all? also, why is it that the guy is always supposed to be the pamperer? did you ask the ex how she pampered you?

steve said...

If Dads are judged by the day to day example they provide, I'm afraid i have been a terrible Father. Subjective judgment would be to my advantage...my kids know that I adore them, and how happy it has made me to be around them...
I remember everything!!! Always have.
Its good that you think the guy is "always supposed to be the pamperer"...just keep doing it for Barbara; you're going to have to trust me on this David.

Mother of Invention said...

You're a wonderful dad and your kids are lucky to have such an expressive, fun and caring father who has got his heart in the right place.

Annelisa said...

As long as your kids know you love 'em, there's nothing in the world more important... that's what gets them through all those horrible, icky growing up years... and most of adulthood too, I reckon.

You sound like as good as a dad can get (there's no better than the one's that love their kids... they're just different, though, of course, there are worse...)

Actually, you'll find most women feel like they're waiting on the men and children hand and foot, and would consider that major pampering! I don't recall any guy pampering me, worse luck... maybe I should find someone to see what it's like, huh?

And, who's ever pampered you?

steve said...

Annelisa, specifically who has ever Pampered me??? I have been fortunate.
If YOU have never been pampered, thats wrong!
I'll show you "what its like".
You deserve it.