Thursday, July 31, 2008

MY CRYSTAL BALL

HE THINKS I TOOK HIS CAR BECAUSE OF A FORTUNE COOKIE

I am just coming off a season where the Cat has my Tongue. I think it has something to do with the Rip (MY SON) having graduated high school 2 months ago and I am having Pseudo Post-Partum Allergic Reaction…Both kids are out of school and I’m middle aged and dumb as ever.

Complicating matters is the fact that the Rip has announced
"I do not want a job…I will not conform to the corporate American Bullshit”

I said
"What you mean to say is “Corporate Global Bullshit”, but that’s beside the point, boy. I used to say the same thing, but I was working 2 jobs.
Give me MY car keys. You can conform to that. You will find it is far nobler to take a job, and pocket the $300 a week it will provide than it is to SPONGE off of your mother, father and friends who are CONFORMING their fingers to the fucking bone”

Of course he said
‘How am I going to get a job without a car”
and I gave him a withering look because I just finished going for 3 and a half years without a car.
Then I bought one and gave it to him witrh the stipulation that he get a job. . After he realized what a stupid and obviously flawed question he asked, he gave me a sheepish look and said
‘Oh yeah…you “

I gave the car back to him three weeks ago, saying
"you have two weeks to find a job".

I am sad to report that these three weeks passed and that I took the car back again last night while we had dinner at Uncle Yang’s Royal Thai House.

You want to know what his fortune cookie said? Hmmm?

"Do the right thing and your possession will return to you within the month"

He is a good kid.
He will find his way.

5 comments:

Barbara said...

Why are boys so hard to launch? I can't give you any advice on this one because we're still struggling with the same issue.

Steve said...

Nobody likes the corporate American (or global) bullshit. But it's a fact of life!

GEWELS said...

Did you plant that fortune in there? My guess is you did.

Ah, as the mother of 2 boys I've been trying to ship them off to a foreign country (only one is complying at the moment- the other one just wants to go to Florida)
That way, I don't see their every move and worry about how stupid those moves are.

Dave Mows Grass said...

"Conform your fingers to the bone and what do ya get? Boney fingers!"

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