Wednesday, August 10, 2011


Babalougats Dial and I found a body. We were trippin' a little I think, having left the Captains Den. It was on a dirt road off Cheek-Sparger, just before you get to Devils Backbone, before anything was out there but outhouses and jackass rabbits. We come up on it in the middle of the night, all slow like on his motorcycle. His headlight hit it and it looked to be a big ol' boy about 6 foot tall, weighed maybe 250, laying on his side, probably had a .38 to the head, or a shotgun blast to his chest. We looked at each other all wild eyed and crept up slow, shadow from the headlight casting eeerie spells over the woods behind, and I kicked it with my toe, and we skiittered back a little.

"Aw Hell Babalougats, its a just piece of rolled up carpet!"

But then both ends of the carpet started to move. like a scene out of Scooby Doo, me and Bubba clutched each other, wild eyed, shaking in mortal fear The middle of the carpet kind of gave a heave as both ends swelled and a coon ran out of one end and a possum from the other!

"The hell you say!" hollers Bubba and we got back on his motorcycle and flew the fuck as fast as we could back up to the Captains Den.


Martijn said...

"Two Young Individuals Scared Straight" would become the title if some editor got his or her hands on it. What I mean is: you are a title God. It's all right, baby! Cool story.

bulletholes said...

Or 'Dirt road leads to nightime rodent scare"!
Hi Martijn!

Kim said...

Mr BH, your response to Martijn's comment is the funniest thing I've read all week. This is another great story but what I love best is the line "the hell you say!" because I haven't heard it since I don't know when

red dirt girl said...

I had a problem with critters getting into my trash cans for a while. First critter was a raccoon. I don't know who was more afraid, him or me! He tried to dig a hole in the bottom of the trash can and hide from me. I tipped it over and he ambled out and up a tree. The second critter was a VICIOUS possum. He wasn't afraid of me. In fact his entire demeanor was how dare you interrupt my feeding! I tipped over the trash can. He didn't amble out. He hissed at me. I kicked the can a few times. He continued to hiss. Eventually I left and came back later. Mr. Possum graced me with his absence. The trials of singledom, I say ... Urghhh!