GOT CRAYONS?

I went to Half Price books last week. Books intimidate me these days. I walked up and down the aisles, trembling at all the pages, all the words, the musty smell of the classics. Up and down I went, shivering past Dean Koontz and all his counted sorrows.
I stopped briefly at Scott Turow, where there was book I dreamed about once upon a time. I had dreamed I wrote a book called “Innocent Blood” and it was hugely popular and had made me famous, and when I woke up I thought what a great name for a book. I was out in the garage a few weeks later and there on a shelf was my book, Innocent Blood, already written by Scott Turow.


See, that’s how it is with books, Its all subliminal and shit.

Books scare me these days. Too much commitment. Blogging has ruined me for books. If it has more than 20 lines, I’ve already lost interest. Unless its UF Mike writing about Brain Salad Surgery.
What could be more ridiculous than spending 30 hours wading through a book (Moby Dick) you have already read 4 or 14 (Atlas Shrugged) times? Because I have a real tendency to buy books I’ve already read.

Anyway, up and down the aisles I went, growing more and more uneasy at the prospect that I might BUY a book, and bring it home, and the worst thing that could happen is that I might like it, and sit up all night unable to put it down. It might be a real Pageturner.

Undaunted, I came home with 4 blank VHS tapes, Tarkus, and a coloring book.