Wednesday, December 31, 2008

THEY GOT THE FIRE DOWN BELOW

A BULLETHOLES NEW YEAR REDUX


Back in 1998 I was lucky enough to live in a very bad part of town where Crack and Crack Whores ran rampant.I never partook of either, but at some point we all became "neighbors"
As I would pull down the gravel alley at 5:30 in the morning on my way to work, there were two girls on the corner that always asked me if I wanted a "date"; being a bit of a rube, it took me a while to figure out what was going on there.
But before long, as I would pull in at the end of the day, they would all wave at me and I would holler out the window
"Hellllloooo Ladies!"
"Yabba-Dabba-Doo!" or
"Honey, I'm home!"
or somesuch.

Some times I would go to the corner and talk with them late at night, staying out of sight so as to not drive off any prospects. There were probably 3 or4 girls that worked that area at any given time.
One night a guy I knew from High School pulled up. Was he surprised to see me!
But thats not what this story is about.

This story is about the very pretty little girl that would work the streets on occasion. She had beautiful, soft looking, well groomed hair that she would toss about in a very sexy way. She seemed different from the other girls…
I figured she was a "Part-Timer", a fairly bored housewife that came out on ocvcasion for a taste of life on the edge.

One morning in my driveway I was checking my oil. This pretty little girl was passing by and so I said
“Good morning”, because really, I had been dying to say something to this pretty little whore.
She stopped and tossed her hair back and shielded her eyes from the sun and says
‘Whatcha’ doin'?”
I looked at her as I slid the rag slowly down my dipstick.
“Jus’ checkin’ my oil “ I says, and added with a grin
“Would you like me to check your oil?”
She did’nt miss a beat and fired right back
“Would you like to check my oil?”
She was smiling pretty as she tossed that sexy hair around again.

Well, I must have turned about 5 shades of red, because, yes, I would have liked to check her oil, but I really did not have the guts to go about it.
Of course, she already knew all this, but decided to let me off the hook.
“You don’t “date” do you?”
“No ma’am I don’t…I’m probably better off all by myself”
“OK” she says, flips her hair back and starts away.
She got a few steps away. For some reason, I had to add
"You are awful pretty though.”

She stopped and turned around and just laughed and said
"And you are awful sweet, and are probably better off all by yourself”
and waved bye.


A few nights later on New Years Eve, my friends "Mr. and Mrs. Hot to Trot" saw her and they pulled over to the right in their Convertible Ragtopped Corvette. They wanted to know how much she would charge to take on the both of them!
Just a little curious... just wanted to see what it might cost for a little taste of life on the edge.

Before you could say “Tit-Bit and Gimme a Dollar” they were surrounded by the Vice squad.
They were arrested and spent New years in Jail.
Yep.
That pretty young whore was a Cop.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
YA'LL BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!

4 comments:

dmarks said...

I can't say I've ever seen one, but it is possible during some drives through parts of Lansing.

And if you go to Las Vegas, people fling large amounts of whore trading cards at you. But the card flingers aren't whores themselves.

red dirt girl said...

Just adding one more Happy New Year to your pocket ... I'm hoping 3 is a lucky number for you - you deserve a fantastic year, dearest cowboy.

all my love,
rdm
xxx

Barbara said...

Good instincts, Steve! I'm sure she was glad she didn't have to bust you.

Happy 2009 to you! I'm looking forward to many more adventures here, but no more trips to the ER, OK?

Anonymous said...

I love this story... only could happen to YOU