Monday, October 09, 2006

NO STATIC AT ALL or I LIKE MY SUGAR SWEET

After the competition on Saturday, I went with a friend to see a band called "Naked Lunch" that does all Steely Dan covers. I’m not that big on Steely Dan but they don’t let me out much and I thought I might see if I had developed any Social Skills during my recluseship the last few years. I was aloso ready to celebrate the results of the competition, which I will share with you momentarily.
Now the one thing I do know is that I got no 'game"- never had one, never will.
I don't generally warm up to people very quickly. But I do have an outstanding sense of humor, and if anyone wants a few grins, well, I'm your man.
I had 2-3 drinks at the bar and was feelin’ pretty frisky (I am a cheap date with a very low tolerance) when a young lady, a good lookin’ young lady, steps to the bar right next to me. We smile politely at each other as she studies the selection of libations behind the bar. Sensing her indecisiveness, I turn to look at the selections and find one she is sure to be pleased with.
A bottle of "FOXHORN" wine, available by the glass.
I point it out to her saying
"they have that good "Foxhorn-Leghorn wine, you oughta’ try that one".
What kind?" she asks.
"Foxhorn-Leghorn" I snicker back, pointing to the bottle.
A cold stare is all I get.
I'm in a very good mood and want the world to be there with me so I implore:
"You know, "Foxhorn-Leghorn" I says in my sweetest voice,"the big chicken hawk or rooster or sumthin' , in the Cartoon that fights with the dawg and says stuff like
‘I say, I say, that boy is missin’ a wheel off his baaaaabeeee carriage’"
She looks down her nose at me like I am truly chopped liver and says
"Its FOGhorn-Leghorn, idiot!"
and walks off in disgust.

Right... FOGhorn...whats the matter with me?
I’ll never go back to that place, I tell you what!

In the Regional Marching Band Competition, The L.D Bell Band placed 1st!
They also were commended with "Outstanding Overall Effect" award.
Next stop- State Championship in November.

6 comments:

Nothing said...

I have always believed that having "game" is not much different than playing baseball.

The best hitters are batting around .350, and some of the worst are around .250. That is only one more hit out of every ten tries.

Keep swinging, you are sure to hit the sweet spot once or twice out of every ten times you are at the plate.

But you do need to step up to the plate!

kissyface said...

oh Lord.

JR's Thumbprints said...

"Naked Lunch" is the title of a William S. Burrough's novel. It was made into a movie also. Never understood it.

steve said...

Nothing- all in all I couldn't have asked for a better evening!
KF- Damn Straight!
JR- You will never find a stranger movie; I actually recorded it and watched it several times before some Junkie swiped it.

Old Lady said...

That was a great pun. She had "0" sense of humor! Bitch!

Mother of Invention said...

Ah, she was stuck up and hung up on mere details so probably wasn't your type. The loss was hers!