I TOOK MY POTATOES DOWN TO BE MASHED

OLD CHEFS DREAm #116
I am quite sure that DAVE MOWS GRASS and UNREMITTING FAILURE are completely responsible for this dream. With most honorable mention to "The Shaz".

Dreamed last night that I was crossing a mountain range of cardboard boxes. It was nighttime, and in the dim moonlight I could not make out the label on the box indicating what was inside. It was fairly dangerous going, slipping on occasion, twisting the ankle and nearly being buried by all these cardboard boxes. They weren't heavy, mind you but when I say a Mountain, I mean a mountain.

The dream was drawn out and the journey torturous; I'll try to spare you that.

I came to the down hill side of the Mountain and I could see lights fsr below me at the base.
i could hear music, too and it sounded like that old Frito Bandito song, the one that goes
"Aye, yi-yi-yi, I am the Frito Bandito
I love Fritos Corn Chips..."
I'll spare you that as well.

As I got closer, I could see people and tables and noted that the lighting was Portable, like on a construction site. There were earth moving machines and conveyor belts and steamshovels...like giant Tonka toys.
The people were all dressed in Chef Uniforms...they were pulling boxes from the Mountain. As they opened the boxes I could see there were big bags of Fritos in them . They would transfer the chips to Crystal Bowls on the table and then the Bowls would be loaded onto the trucks.
There were also bowls of dip being filled and loaded, but I don't know where they were getting the dip. No, I do remember...they were scooping Bean dip from a river that ran through the valley.

Bear with me here.

Suddenly the music changed and in a flurry of activity, these 'Chefs" seemed to form up into two distinct teams. They were still filling bowls, but now they had Candy they were putting in the bowls.
And one team would sing
"Sometimes you feel like a nut" as they placed Almond Joy's into the bowls
And the other team would sing
"Sometimes you don't" as they filled their bowls with Mounds.
"Almond Joys got nuts"
"Mounds don't"

Can you see where this is heading?
Me either.

Now everything changes again and some of the tables are transformed into a Fashion Model Runway and the Earth Moving machines and Steanshovels speed up. Boxes are opened and now they are filling bowls with nuts!
There are Cashews and Goobers, Macadamia and Filberts, Roasted Mixed and Blackened Pecans...
The whole valley is filled with a mighty expectation and the lights start making like its a Disco, strobing and swaying up and down the runway and the music starts in....
A-Thumpa-thumpa-thumpa-boppa
and then the Brass section starts
Tooooo-doodle-tit-doooo-ti-ti-ti
and then...
There are 6 Emerald Nut Leprichauns strutting down that runway and they are dressed in drag...Green Sparkly sequins and black fishnets and gold Go-Go boots and Belt buckles too small to cover their manliness, and the Big Planters Nut Guy is there too, only he is a she, and they are singing to the Disco beat as they blow kisses to the crowd...

"I'm too sexy for my Nuts,
too sexy for my Nuts
too sexy for my Nuts"

and they all do their little turn out on the catwalk...


At that point I deemed it necessary to consciously wake myself up.