CROTCHETY OLD MAN

Neighbor lady is going soft on me.
Keeps callin’ me “Sweetie” and asks if I want a cigarette while she chain smokes.
I tell her AGAIN that I quit last year. My mistake is that on occasion I might smoke one

Wants to wait on me hand and foot. I can’t stand it, but she’s a "giver" and I try to be nice.
We might be watching the Cowboys on TV.
"Do you want some more tea?" she'll ask.
'Sure, but keep your seat, I'll get it, I know where the refrigerator is" and I get up go into the kitchen, open the cooler door and start to pour my tea. And then, there she is, right under my feet asking:
"Is it sweet enough for you?"
"You make the best tea I ever had " I say, and she does!

Yesterday she tells me about the Sunday School class she formed up for the 19-29 year olds.
She had been wanting to do this for them for a number of years and she finally got the chance.
'We had our first meeting yesterday." She is beaming.
“Are you 19-29 “says I”
She and I are both quite obviously past 50.
“No, but they need a leader” says she.
"They need a leader? What for?" I ask, somewhat incredulously.
"Well , just to help guide them " she says
“Well, these must be some lame ass 19-29 year olds.” Says I.
It seems to be a sad testament towards the competence of the younger generation.

So then she proceeds to tell me that she fell asleep during their first class yesterday.
I just laughed and laughed. I couldn't help it. The way she said it was just hilarious.
And then, when I finally stopped laughing, wiping the laugh tears that were streaming down my cheeks, I looked at her I could tell I had hurt her feelings.
"Its not funny” she says
“Then" says I, laughing even harder "why did you tell me?”

And she didn’t know what to say.

Jeezus.

She is such a nice lady, and I like her I really do, but I am so afraid that I will hurt her feelings really bad before she really gets to know me, so bad that she never wants to talk to me again.

Are all men as big a prick as this? If I can be so hurtful when I am in a good mood, can you imagine what its like when I'm crotchety?
I get like a mean ol grumpy-bear, believe you me.