Tuesday, October 21, 2008

BIG CRY BABY

Barbara wrote about cryin' yesterday and I had to stop the presses and post this....

Do you remember back in Kindergarten and one kid would get hurt, or start cryin' about somethin' and the next thing you know every kid in the place was howlin' like they had a tit stuck in a wringer?
That is everybody 'cept maybe Barbara?

The X-Mrs Bulletholes asked me last week:
“Who do have listed as beneficiary on your policy?”
“Why, you gonna knock me off?”
“No, I just wondered if it was the kids”
“Well, I still have you listed as my beneficiary”
‘Why don’t you change it”
“Hell, you know what to do with it, besides....probably not enough there to get me cremated any way”
‘Cremated? Don’t you want to be on the family plot?”
“No not really”

She’s a little exasperated with me, I can tell.
She is going to"ramp up" this interrogation and its going to get really intense.
I can feel it in my bones.

‘Well, what do you want us to do with the ashes? Put ‘em in an urn and keep you on the mantle or somethin’? Because I don’t think that’s gonna happen, Steve”

And my chin kinda quivered and I felt the lump coming to my throat and I swallowed hard enough she could feel it, hear it smell it…
She looks at me…
“Where?” she says. “Where do you want us to put you?

Now the tears are just coming down my cheeks and I stutter:
Puh-Puh-Pah” I’m stuck on one syllable.
Puh-Puh-Pah” is all I can manage.
Puh-Puh-Pah” and she’s looking at me like I’m nuts.
Puh-Puh-Pah” I stammer again.
I just can't spit it out. Its too emotionally charged. Completely over-amped.

She see’s I’m just a basket case now and says very sympathetically
‘Just tell me where, Steve”
And my emotion is just so high (and actually, it feels so good to feel so strongly) I can’t get the words to come out so I look her right in the eye and with my voice cracked and shaking:
“You know where I wanna go!”

She looks at me and then it comes to her…
Now its her turn to stammer…
“Y-you want us to s-s-scatter you at
Puh-Puh-Puh Pat Boone Bay!”
and now she's like all cryin' like all get out.
We looked at each other...
(BLINK-BLINK-BLINK)
and just busted out laughin'!
It was great!


CLICK HERE!

8 comments:

petra michelle; Whose role is it anyway? said...

Humor on a subject most find very uncomfortable to tackle.
I also want to be cremated. Of all places, Woodstock. No not because Bob Dylan lived there. :))
But, Steve, where is Pat Boone Park? In Texas? You just have an affininity for it?

bulletholes said...

PIE- I ADDED AN AERIAL PHOTO OF PATROON BAY...
BUT IF YOU CLICK ON THE LINK UP THERE YOU WILL FIND THE STORY OF WHY ITS SO (sniff-sniff)
SPECIAL TO ME.

Barbara said...

You should be able to RIP wherever you choose. I'll bet she will honor your request. The two of you still have something special between you.

And I inspired this???

Alan said...

That is touching. That a man and his ex could move each other to tears.

Just beautiful.

GEWELS said...

You move me to tears too Steve.
Not sure that's a good thing though.
And nobody else appreciated the humping mice like you and I did.
Geez, my friends have no sense of humor.

Mother of Invention said...

Aw! I was getting a little teary myself. You know how I feel 'bout fishin'!!!

Mother of Invention said...

How come this comment thing has changed and I have to have a profile now? What if I want to keep a LOWE profile? HA!

Annelisa said...

Excellent! Read the old posts to find out why you wanted to be scattered there...funny, very funny! :-D

Thanks Steve...needed that! ((((hug)))