Wednesday, October 01, 2008


Officers were called to the scene where she was allegedly spotted revving her engine loudly and repeatedly reversing over a pair of sunglasses outside a Donut Shop in Santa Barbara, California. Her erratic behavior was likely due to Acute Sugar Intoxication.

"Alcohol was ruled out as a factor, but based on the officer's observations, we believe Locklear was under the influence of Tartlets, Lindor Balls and we found what appears to be a whole Sacher Torte under the front seat ,' Marshall said. "She lit the "Specials" on a Glucometer, but there will be hell to pay when she comes down."

The Actress has struggled with the sweets ever since hooking up with Bon-Bon Jovi.

Wide eyed and bushy tailed


kissyface said...

I didn't know she'd joined the LAPD.

petra michelle; Whose role is it anyway? said...

hahaha! Love the play on words. So Bon Bon Jovi was responsible, eh?
Sad, though. We place these celebs on a pedestal and they're made of flesh and blood like the rest of us. Except for Paul Newman who can really eat those hard boiled eggs! :)) ...I
say, "I don't know, you got any soft boiled eggs?"... ;))

banquet manager said...

Heather USED to be beautiful, not anymore. Anyway - I've got something for you. I'm looking for guest bloggers for my site and know you want in. Read about it here:

Minx said...

No doubt she will be off to the Candy Flossing Reform Clinic soon and with a couple of hours community service she will back to her old self in next to no time.

bulletholes said...

KF- She is a C.I. I believe, confectionary informant. They always have the good stuff.

Pie!- nuthin like being hooked on Ouefs ala Nage! Too bad she didn't go Godiva on us.

Hey Banque-left you a little petit Four over there. or Petty-poop as we used to say.

Hey Slim- Where's your campassion?Its a Pure Cane nightmare for the kid. Now , where'd I put my Unfinished Sweet?

Steve said...

Taking lessons from Dan White and the "Twinkie defense," I guess!

bulletholes said...

Steve! 'Twinkie Defense" man I had to look it up but thats great! i could have used that on my "whore case"

Thanks for stopping by and thanks for your comment regarding those peaches!