Thursday, October 23, 2008

I GOTTA GET ME ONE OF THOSE


Pietra does a thing every week called ‘Whose Role is it Anyway” and it reminds me of a place I used to work
Every week I was supposed to sign my timecard.
To my rebel soul this just seemed like an idiot thing to be doing.
Sign my Timecard.
Like this was going to keep me from cheating on my time….I mean, in terms of controls, this is about as lame a measure as there could be.
It was almost insulting.
Anyway, every week I would go ahead and sign my timecard.
And every week payroll would call me down to REALLY sign my timecard.
You see, when I signed it I would use someone else’s name, like Christopher Columbus, Brigham Young or Galileo.
Maybe Elvis Presley, or Madonna, or Cher.
Sometimes the name I would sign might be kind of obscure, like Jeffery Dahmer or Steven Berkowitz, Fritz the Cat or Mr. Green Jeans
If I was signing it today I might use General Colin Powell, or Pac-Man Jones, or just plain “W”.
Thinkin' back, I really kind of miss it and thats why I have so much fun over at "Who's Role is it Anyway"
Over time I could tell that Payroll actually looked forward to my timecard every week.
Most weeks they knew the name and other weeks I would brief them on whomever I may have stolen my Identity from.

But then there was the week that I signed my card “John Galt”.
As I entered the office Jackie holds up my card and asks :
“Who is John Galt?”
I laughed like a demon and re-signed my card with my real name and exclaimed
(God I hate that word”exclaimed” but…there it is)
‘Indeed, ‘who is John Galt!’” I exclaimed.
I turned and left the room.
It was the only time I left without an explanation.

The next morning Jackie calls me up all in a panic….
“I need you to get down here right away”
So I go down to the Office wondering what I have done now.
Her white blouse is stained with what looks to be Coffee, spilled all down the front.
I enter and she is right in my face.
“Who is John Galt? Who is John Galt…tell me..tell me..tell me!!!”
She’s freakin’ out on me.
"Why? What happened to you?" says I.
"I spilled my Coffee on the way in. I saw a bumper sticker this morning on the car in front of me, I spewed coffee all over my windsheild, burned the shit out of my tits. You know what this Bumper Sticker said? "
“No”
"It said “Who is John Galt”
I just laughed and said as I was leaving:
“I gotta get me one of those!”

I guess somewhere along the way I probably tried to tell her who John Galt is.
Click on any of the highlighted links to learn more than you probably want to know about John.
This post serves as an introduction to Atlas Shrugged.

9 comments:

Barbara said...

I can tell you would be a challenge for any supervisor, nonconformist that you are!

GEWELS said...

Oh Geez! I just added Atlas Shrugged to my Paperspine book queu. I should be getting it soon.
I doubt I'll be able to get through it though, the way it's described there.Have you actually read it?

Anonymous said...

You Sir, are my sunshine! Over the years I've involuntarily been an Office Rebel myself, but in my case all my efforts have been unnoticed and in vain. It's good to see someone with more success. I don't have to sign my time card but sometimes need to sign other things, which I maintain to sign with my (Italic) Personel Number, to emphasize the humanoid droneness we have become. My number is number ten, unfortunately, and not thirteen, which would have been my choice. Other subversive actions are: filling my desk with rediculous items like miniature dustbins, a half empty snowdome with a shitting gnome who can just hold its beard above water; installing a screensaver on a company computer with weird pictures (including nudity & nazis); slowly demolishing the curtains but making it look like an acident' et cetera... But I most certainly draw inspiration from you! So... now it's back to the old gallies... Hi!

Martijn

Dave Mows Grass said...

I was thinking of this post at work last night. They just started a new thing where you can write some question on a card and drop it in the "Solutions!" box. They will write up a quick answer and put it on the weekly Lean Enterprise update sheet that is posted on the LEAD boards (Lean Enterprise Advisory Display). I finally thought of a question that was relevant to my work so I dropped it in the box. I hope they answer it. I'm sure lots of other press operators are wondering what homeoscedasticity is just like me, don't you think?

bulletholes said...

Barbara- thats what makes me such a good right hand man you know.

Gewels- I have read it a number of times. My next few posts I'll talk about my relationship to the book.

Mjin! i keep a magic 8 ball on my desk and when I ask a question of the boss and get the feeling that he is going to balk on me i pick it up and give it a shake looking him in the eye. it usually provides just the right touch of humor mixed with a sense of urgency that will elicit some kind of ruling from him. I think i'll get him one of his own for Christmas.

Davy- Homeoscedasticity ? is that like, when you drink milk too fast and it starts to drip out of your nose? Equally, from each nostril?

petra michelle; Whose role is it anyway? said...

hahaha, Steve! Explains a lot about your comments! Don't ever change! ...in these times of
compassion when conformity's in fashion...

leslie said...

Most people I know say they started Atlas Shrugged, but didn't like it.
That just says they never finished reading it.
When you and I get to be in charge, like we planned, that book will come in handy!
http://shop.cafepress.com/ayn-rand

bulletholes said...

P-bABY! I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE THIS EXPLANATION. (ooops)
I hope you do get to read it someday. I have given several copies away over the years and i'm not sure that the recipients have ever read it. Take my advice to heart and get one with big print.

Leslie! When I hear terms like 'spreading the Weath around" or "Freeze spending" I always think of Wyatts Torch and the "Equalization of Opportunity bill".

Mother of Invention said...

You crack me up!!! Wish you were in our office!!