Monday, January 12, 2009


When cleaning raw shrimp it is necessary (and polite) to remove the ‘Sand Vein” from the shrimp. What that amounts to is taking out the small digestive tract of the shrimp. Only the size of a toothpick, they are usually filed with what amounts to partially digested plankton.
Shrimp Shit.
That’s all it is…
Prawn Poop.
The amount of time it spends in the shrimp is probably less than the time it takes for a human to chew and swallow a Shrimp, but in more polite company, the sand vein is considered to be quite rude.

Of course, in the kitchen there is not a whole lot of polite company in proximity, so the following recipe has been developed for the Sand Vein.
The first ingredient you need is a new guy, some youngster that is hungry for knowledge and eager to be a chef.
Add to that 100 pounds of Shrimp to clean and you have the perfect environment for making Shrimp Gut Sandwiches (SGS).
You show him how to remove the Vein and set up a little crystal bowl for him to save them in.
You help and assist him in peeling and cleaning the shrimp, all the while explaining the different variations of SGS’s.
Some folks like ’em on a Bun, some on Wheat toast.
Some folks want theirs with Mayonnaise and other prefer Remoulade Sauce, or maybe some Raw Horseradish.
Some like the Bacon SGS, some Gilled CheeseSGS and others with the standard Lettuce tomato and Pickle.
That’s how I like mine and with a thick Chocolate Shake to go with.
All you have to do is put the raw shrimp guts on any sandwich and you are ready for a real delight!

When the lad has collected enough Shrimp guts to make two Sandwiches, you get his order, how he likes it made and you prepare it along with one for yourself.
And this is the key….
When you make his sandwich you slather it with all those shrimp guts.
But when you make yours, you only put guts on half….the half that he will be able to see.
The half that you are going to take a bite out of…and this is important…has no Shrimp guts on it at all!
You’ve talked it up for an hour;
“These Sandwiches, in some cultures, are considered a delicacy!” (what isn’t?)
“Many people include them in Religious Ceremonies as a Pathway to Enlightenment and a source of Visions!” (near death experiences)
“It is medically proven to increase virility!” (results vary)

Now you both have your sandwiches and Chocolate shakes and you find out a lot about the new guy real fast.
Most of them can’t believe you just took a bite out of your Shrimp Gut Sandwich…others are curious and somewhat amazed that people can eat shrimp shit, but there is no way they are going to try…they may even be envious that their mental taste buds are not yet refined enough, and worried that they are too “close-minded” to be a Real Chef.

Then there are the few that you have to stop them from taking a big bite of Shrimp Shit.
There was even one guy that I was too slow to stop.
Son-of-a-Gun dove right in.
He told me later:
Wasn’t as bad as one might think”.

Next up….
"How Drinking Urine has Saved Lives and Cured Everything from Diabetes to Bull-nettle"


Anonymous said...

That is some sandwich. A great story on breaking someone in new bulletholes!

Anonymous said...

Steve, you are a bona fide genius. Genius, I tells ya!

UF Mike

Barbara said...

I'm feeling ill as I think about eating shrimp shit. There are times when I am too lazy to remove those little sand veins (as my mother used to call them), but they really should go!

valentinegirl63 said...

I love this!!!!

Annie said...

Ew. Ew, ew, eeew!

Anonymous said...

What Annie said. Although the old alimentary canal never bothered me. My mom loves to tell the story about a family relation who ate the shrimp shells and all and when asked whether he liked them responded, "Too crunchy." True story.

UF Mike

petra michelle; Whose role is it anyway? said...

Now why is it that I can eat bee regurgitation or honey, but can't eat shrimp gut? One man's wine is another man's vinegar, eh? Fun post, Es!

petra michelle; Whose role is it anyway? said...

And I learned another recipe to boot! :))

Dave Mows Grass said...

These tricks can get you in trouble. During my mercenary days, I nearly god an Article 15 for sending a new guy to the motorpool to get five black ground guides. He asked the wrong person. Great story Stevie!