Wednesday, January 28, 2009


"Haste thee, Nymph, and bring with thee
Jest, and youthful Jollity,
...Sport that wrinkled Care derides,
And Laughter holding both his sides.
Come, and trip it as you go,
On the light fantastick toe."

When I was four years old my Mother enrolled me in tap dancing lessons. I was the only little boy in the Class and I cried to and from it.

But when I got to High School, those lessons paid off well!
I loved to dance!
I was a dancin' Fool!
I had a girlfriend named Jeri with this long blonde hair and man, could she dance! She looked good doing it too!

My Senior year at the Halloween dance , I went as an Ape from the “Planet of the Apes”.
My Artist buddy made us Paper-Mache' Ape Masks, and we wore suits, just like in the Movie!
we really looked pretty good, and I had the longest silkiest blonde hair you ever saw on a Gorilla.
Jeri was no longer my girlfriend, as detailed HERE so I had to find a newdance partner (victim).

The Band began to play, but no one was dancing.
I asked the most popular girl in School, Trixie, the Captain of the Drill team to dance.
The anonymity of the Ape mask had given me a courage I'd never known before.

She watched in wonder as I whirled like a Dervish.
The song was 'Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple.
I was Jammin'!
I was just startin' to really rock when it happened.
I fell down, feet in the air, flat on my back, and found myself staring up at the ceiling.
Trixie's face appeared within my field of vision and she mouthed the words
"Are you OK?”
I just grinned behind the safety of my mask and started squirming and floppin' about.
“Break Dancing “ was born that night!
Thanks, Mom!

These are my dances that I do nowadays...

The Geritol Shuffle (keep de-fib handy))
The Two and three Quarter Three-step (watch toes)
The Un-Followable Waltz (its in the timing)
Snap, Crackle Pop Stomp (bugs in the britches)
The TwoWhatsHe? (kind of a Wackwards Batusi)
Rude-Dogtrot ( the ladies cant resist)
Nuclear Polka (slow song, fast dance)
Belly-to-Belly (fast song, slow dance)
Rockin' the Bunny Hop (shakin' a leg)

What are your dances?


leslie said...

Twist then Shout
Mashed Toes
Quick Step at Midnight
Walkin' the Dog

Waiter Extraordinaire said...

I have two dances. For fast something like disco and for slow well you know the slow dance. Everyone knows that one. Hey Cheffie!!!

cornbread hell said...

if i danced, i think i'd do the TwoWhatsHe.

but i'm not much of a dancer. (i can even mess up the slow dance.)

MikeTheWaiterDotCom said...

I think I have done a few of the goofy dances at the end myself, bullet ... that is ... when my wife can even get me out on the dance floor ... which, nowadays is usually just at the occassional wedding... never did learn to dance properly ... so it's just a little shake, rattle, and roll...
be good, mTw

Annie said...

I don't dance. Not in public, anyway. Although, I have been known to do the Chicken Dance when Mom plays it on her musical duck.

laughingattheslut said...

I don't dance in public either.

It is strickly the Risky Business lip sync scene for me.

dmarks said...

Yet another who is not much of a dancer.

banquet manager said...

I do the - sit my ass in the recliner chair with the remote in one hand and a beer in the other!
When I'm feeling good I try the "Curley shuffle".

Anonymous said...

"The Dutch don't dance"... that's even a truly existing saying, or something. In any case, this is the one thing where I stick to the rule. I... d o n ' t d a n c e.

That's the official reading. Now, in reality I have been known to dance once or twice. Most notably to the Doors when I've had a few. A couple of cups of coffee + a beer or 5 + The Doors equals me dancing on my sofa! Literally. The Doors is the only music that makes me want to dance. Wild... tribal... ritual dancing... going for the end of the tunnel! Like a wounded beast. With other good music I just jiggle my legs or drum on the table. It's not a good story and I'm not proud of it; and it's rotten of me to mention it to one in your delicate position perhaps (just say so and I'll never use the B-word again)... but it's the truth.

"When I was four years old my Mother enrolled me in tap dancing lessons." That is probably the most powerful tragic-comic sentense I've ever heard to begin a story with. Greetings,

Martijn "One of my legs is shorter than the others"

(... the middle one hahaha, not very 'classy funny' is it?)

Rick O'Shay said...

Green Apple Quick Step

bulletholes said...

leslie, save a dance for me! Good list!
Waiter, yeah I know the one you are talking about, where you just kinda lazy rock back and forth.

CornB'- i mess up the slow one too. Its like the slower i go, the more likely I am to just fall down.

Mike, I can tell you have a great sense of humor, as reflected in the goofy dancin'. Now, just forget what it looks like and dance...get over it!

OK Annie, you are a closet Bopper....what the heck is a Musical Duck?
I got it! Next time I go Dancin', I'm going to do the Funky Duck! Instead of a stroll, its a waddle!

laughin', white socks, white tghts, and a white boyfriend shirt?
Are you a Seeger fan?

Dmarks, I'm going to come up with a dance for you... maybe the dR. SPOCK kNOCKOUT REEL!

B-man. the urly shuffle always get 'em.

Martijn, the dutch don't dance? Are ya'll Lutherans?
My delicate condition? You make it sound like I just fell off the Ice cream Truck or something! You crack me up!
the Doors, huh...for me, my first time dancin', it was Steppinwolf and Magic Carpet Ride.
I have a dance for people with different leg came from a 3 Stooges routine and its called the "One-legged Charlie"
Plant your shrt leg firmly to the floor and use the other leg to move yourself to the music in a circle like you are a Drafters Compass or something...then...
Just follow your dream!

Green Apple Quickstep? Expatiate please.

Anonymous said...

dancin with myself