Friday, May 15, 2009

I CRACK MYSELF UP

Sittin there before a meeting last night…
Chick asks me if I have the 12 Steps memorized
“Yes, yes I do” I bragged.
“I can’t seem to remember them. How did you do it?’ she asks.
“Well, when I’m walking, or riding my bike, I repeat them to myself, either under my breath, or even out loud sometimes”
Then the dude sitting across from us ( dude don’t like me much, I don’t think) he pulls a card out of his billfold the size of a credit card, embossed,with the 12 steps printed on it.
“You need one of these“ the dude says, and makes a big deal out of presenting it to her.

So I say
“Yes I have one of those too. I have mine attached to a holder on a hat to where it hangs right here in front of my face.”
Dude gives me a dirty look, but the chick , she laughs.
‘What does that do?” she asks.
“Well, I wear the hat while I’m doing housework, or even watching TV sometimes and now the 12 Steps are BURNED into my brain.”
She and I laugh at the thought of this, genius as it is...
The dude just gives me another dirty look.
So I continue….
‘Yeah, I went to the eye doctor two days ago and he asked me to cover my right eye and read the top line.
I read:


W
EAD
MITTED
WEWERE
POWERLESSOVER
OURADDICTIONANDOUR
LIVESHADBECOMEUNMANAGEABLE

Dude gives me a last dirty look, says dry as a bone:
"Thats really funny"

8 comments:

Water Baby said...

Colorado says you have GAME dad, he says that if you lost another couple pounds you could snag a lot of ladies!! your so funny dad, I love you

petra michelle; Whose role is it anyway? said...

Hilarious, Steve! He's missing a sense of humor. It just might help! :))

Annelisa said...

Guess you have to have a sense of humour about this stuff...that guy really needs to pick one up somewhere.

Btw...Waterbaby's right...I keep wondering how you haven't been snapped up!

Mother of Invention said...

I think it's hilarious. You sure add colour to that group!

Barbara said...

Some people need to get high to have a sense of humor. Fortunately you seem to have kept yours after kicking your habit.

Angela said...

I have never quite understood what put you in that group, and what kind of a group is it anyway. You sound as if you could heal yourself just by laughing things off, but maybe that`s just your shield? Why not write to Auntie Angela, she is very wise, and include Water Baby`s address so I can send her some chocolate? NOT to you if you ought to lose pounds, of course.

bulletholes said...

Baby, your Dad used to be a real Fox. I could show Colorado a thing or two! hahahaha!

Hi Pet!

Annelisa, I am high maintenance. I am.

Hi Mom! They think i'm pretty funny.

Barb, i'm funnier whenI am not using. When I am using, I'm actually kinda quiet.

Angela, I sent you an Email!

GrizzBabe said...

He's jealous of Steve the Smooth Operator!