Friday, May 22, 2009


Man, this reminds me of Valentines Day 1970.
(click here)
Seventh grade, in love with the mousey straighthaired girl across the street, Jeri was her name, and she was a bit bucktoothed and her ears stuck out the sides of her hair.
I loved those ears!
And she really wasn't bucktoothed exactly.
As I see her in my minds eye, as I am sure you are doing now, she was "over-toothed"...that is to say that her two front teeth were a bit out of proportion, giving her a kind of Bugs Bunny look that drove me wild.
Anyway, the day before Valentines Day I told my best friend Billy that I was going to ask her to "go steady" on Valentines Day, and Valentines Day morning I went to the Student Council stand to put down my $1 and send her a Valentines Telegram, a "Love-O-Gram", in which I intended to declare my undying love and devotion to her.
Anonymously of course.

She was in three of my classes that day, plus lunch, and I watched her as she got the telegram. I saw her show it to her friend Vicki. I watched as it was passed around to all her girl-pals at the lunch table.
I was terrified, making sure I did not watch too closely, lest I be found out.
I am glad that I have no recolllection of what was in my Love-O-Gram or I would be tempted to divulge what my seventh grade mind would have written.

Anyway, she had no idea it was me, because I was a real squirrel back then, carrying a trombone with me everywhere I went and forever waxing about the Chess Club and stuff.
Several times that day I nearly summoned the courage to ask Jeri to go steady, but in the face of those ears and teeth I always chickened out.

Jeri lived across the street from me, we rode the same bus home and we got out together, just the two of us. Having lacked the courage throughout the day, it was now my intention to pop the question after we got off the bus.
Do or die.
We were standing there as the bus pulled away.
She had a funny look on her face as I toed the ground and studied my shoetops and cleared my throat. but before I could speak I hear her say through the ringing in my ears:
"Steve, can I ask you something?'
"Billy told me you were going to ask me to go steady today. Is that true?"

WHOA! You could have knocked me over with a feather!
Of course I completely and categorically denied it. If Billy had not been twice my size, I'd have kicked his ass the next day.

Jeri lived across the street from me till we graduated High School.
We seldom talked after that, but five years later, on the night of Graduation, I told her that my intention had been to ask her to "Go Steady" that day, and that it was me that had sent the Love-O-Gram.
"I know, and I still have it" was all she said and laughing gave me a kiss on the cheek.
She had gotten braces or else her face had caught up with her mouth. She no longer had that Bugs Bunny look and her ears no longer showed through her once-thin-and-mousey but now stylishly-permed-frosted-blonde-hair.
That is to say her charms were quite faded in my eyes.
Still, I'll never forget that kiss.


Anonymous said...

That's so sad. And funny. Her teeth do sound sexy though. And your "overtoothed" is frickin' hilarious. You're the best storyteller out there, pal. Fearless!

UF Mike

bulletholes said...

Thanks Mike!
Fearless? Huh.
Back then I was a weiner, a real weiner.

Barbara said...

This is so sweet. I liked nerdy guys like you when I was in Jr. High. I was definitely a nerd too.

Water Baby said...

I remember the love-grams. I was always too scared someone would find out it was from me if I sent one! I don't think I ever got one, but we took these love-quizzes and one of my best friends was in my "top-ten".

Dave Mows Grass said...

You're very good, Stevie. When I was in seventh grade I only sent Resent-O-Grams. Same outcome, I guess, but I didn't get the kiss five years later.

Anonymous said...

"Over-toothed". HA, that's a good one.