SHE CALLED ME A SQUIRREL

Shari (click here) was the Pastry Chef at the Hyatt I used to work at. A good portion of her energy was spent trying to keep me out of her sweets. She had an entire walk-in Cooler that was filled with Pastry Creams, Cheesecakes, Petit-Fours, and ingredients like you have never heard of.

When Shari wasn't looking, I would sneak into her cooler and gorge on Truffles and Tartlets.
Some times, if she had nothing tempting already prepared, I would take some of her leftover Cake tops and smear them with whipped cream she kept in a big bucket. That drove her more nuts than if I'd actually managed to snag something good, like an Eclair or a Cream Horn.

Sometimes after sneaking in to the cooler and feasting, I would slowly open the door to try and "duck-out", but she would be standing right there, her arms crossed with that bad look on her face.
I would say innocently
"Oh there you are, I was looking for you"
and she would say
"You were not, you were in there eating my pastries"
and I'd look all shocked and say
"B-B-B-but..."
and she'd say
'You have Chocolate crumbs and whipped cream all over your face"
"Do I really? Huh, I wonder where that came from" and I'd wipe my face with my sleeve.
She would shake her head and say
"You are such a Squirrel"

She also had a lock box where she kept various Liquours and Special Garnishes like Chocolate with Gold filigree, and Petrified Bee Pollen and stuff like that.
There was an item in that box I couldn't stay away from and if I ever found it unlocked I was likely to eat all of them
The item was Crystallized Violets. They were sugar coated and hard and Purple and they had a lovely floral bouquet. I got a hold of them one day and I don't remember how many I ate but it didn't take long for Shari to come looking and find me.

"You frickin' Squirrel, did you eat all my Crystal Violets?"
"Hmmm?"
"You heard me...you ate all my violets!"
She's really mad.
"No Shari, I didn't eat all your Violets. I haven't even been over there."
And she hits me with a pretty tough question
"Then why are your lips all purple?"
Shit!
Busted!
Well maybe not quite, after all I am pretty quick on my feet, and I am a Chef...
I gave her my best smile and phrased it more as a question than a statement
"Would you believe... Beets?"

Her shoulders slumped and she couldn't help but laugh and say
"There is something seriously wrong with you, buddy."

I'll always remeber Shari for the boxes of leftover Pastries she would send home to my mother, leftovers from the Sunday Brunch, during the last years of Moms life. Shari would pack that box with all the care in the world, and when I walked in the door at home Moms eyes would just light up like Sapphires.
Thanks Shari!